Little Joys

The end

2012-01-27T17:01:00.000-08:00

I will be ending this blog. After a year of considering it I have decided not to blog like this anymore.

Maybe you remember the days before the backspace button when if you typed or wrote something you could throw it in the trash and start over. Don't get me wrong I am a huge fan of the backspace button, but there have been many times that I have posted something and then after a day or two and after everyone's had read it, I wished I hadn't posted it. If that happens in conversation you can go back to the person and clarify or ask what they thought of what you said, but in the blog world you have no idea how many have read it.

I began blogging to have a sort of record of these days of life so that I remember. At times I would however write knowing the reader would be reading...does that make sense? I will be creating an online journal at a different address.

I am sort of sad about it because blogging has been a way of escape and a fulfillment of the desire to be known, but it is good. It is time.

Stay tuned for an address, and please be patient it may be a while.

January 2012

2012-01-26T17:53:00.001-08:00

a FACE a mother could LOVE:

My sweet baby Molly Lou

Knoxie doodle ....what a little stinker

And Super Brennan in his 'super' cape..his shirt says "I'm definitely up to something"

Dress up boy style...

It has rained entirely tooooooo much lately so the sun broke through the clouds and we dawned our rain boots and splashed in the puddles..I was okay with this because it was like 60 degrees outside..I LOVE this expression on knox's face!

And then inside or some homemade brownies...

Licking the bowl....

And caring for sis

Oh and art...

now and then..

2012-01-14T10:34:00.000-08:00

i am not going to apologize for it being so long since i updated this blog. it is part of my new years resolution to live with no worries, to consider less the thoughts others have of me and think of others more.
i am so VERY thankful to God for all of my precious friends. Some of you i keep up with on here, some through occasional phone dates, some through my mother. Still all of you are so amazing. REALLY. God has allowed me to meet and be a part of some truly amazing people. I have spent (wasted) time trying to make people who are in my life now, like some of you (bosom friends), but have come to the realization that i have been blessed beyond words with girls of outstanding character and depth. thank you for loving me despite my lack of both.
some of you are so good at writing or communicating that i feel like i am somewhat aware of the huge things God is doing or has done in your life, and i am not good at puting those things on paper (or type :). For now, i want to reflect back on the goodness of God in 2011:
1. Of course, he blessed us with a new addition to our family- a lively, perky, responsive little girl named MOLLY.
2. He gave us wise and quick acting doctors who found a way to relieve our family from 5 hours a day of crying and me of the weight of feeding a baby alone.
3. He gave us a way to connect to our church family and give us Christian fellowship IN ATHENS by providing a caregroup that meets right here in our home! (F.Y.I our church is 45 minutes away in Knoxville, we love it and benefit from it enough to make the drive)
4. He gave Ben a new office space, and the kids and i free reign of the house from 8-5! no more VP of universities being greeted by a half dressed todler!
5. He provided an amazing group of sisters to serve me and our children (and ultimately Ben too as i am not as desperate) one day a week.
6. He faithfully paid the bills and fed our children with hearty appetites EVERY MONTH, despite my lack of monetary contribution and Ben's unpredictable salary.
7. He got me out of my slump of post-babies-are all- i- do. I have been SO discouraged since Knox's birth that i found a strand of bitterness in my soul about pretty much all things. He is filling my heart with a new song and new found joy.
8. He got me running again. Seriously, i ENJOY exercise. I am not one that has to be dragged to the gym. I literally put on my sports bra everyday when i dress in hopes that at some point i will get to go for a quick run..and we are now members at our local YMCA that has childcare for $1.00 per hour. i have gotten to do a 10K three times a week since November. woo hoo. maybe i will get to do a half marathon next year after a 5 year wait!
9. He has given us water pressure in our shower (funny i know but a crummy way to start your day with a trickle of lukewarm water..especailly in winter!) We have no way of explaining the sudden burst other than answer to prayer!
10. We have begun family devotions of sort. (with a 2 year old its limited!)
11. Ben has had opportunity to lead worship as a volunteer for our family nights at church. It is such a blessing to have him leading me in worship to our God together once again. He is my favorite worship leader and i think has a special anointing form God in that area.
So 2011 in hindsight for you?

The latest

2011-12-15T17:11:00.000-08:00

I just got the best Christmas gift ever yesterday! A day out with the three kiddos.
Molly had her appointment in Knoxville at children's hospital yesterday morning so we decided to make a day of it..and as fun of a day as we could.
The doctor told us she was all better and her intestines were on the mend. Still a little blood in the stool from inflammation of the stomach tissues and esophagus lining, but X-rays were clear, no malformation or disfunction! She did fabulous and so did her brothers waiting on her turn and being helpful opening doors for me as I pushed her stroller.
Then we had a blast at West Town mall. We had "chik a lake" according to Knox, for lunch, then we rode the train that goes through the mall called " the bumble bee express" (gotta love that as much as these boys sing "bringing home a baby bumble bee"! ) Then we went to the disney store and bought their cousins Christmas gift, and got a baby dip of ice cream at the marble slAb to share. And folks with three little ones that took us THREE HOURS!!!!!!! Then our exhausted little munchkins fell sound asleep on the way home and stayed that way as I put them in their beds and woke them at 4:15 so that bedtime wouldn't be too late.
I am a last minute Christmas shopper and confess I have SEVEN more gifts to purchase.
We leave Wednesday for Alabama and I am getting ready to see everyone .
Bens new office space is coming along great...all the rooms and trim are painted, the carpet is ripped up, the floors need to be sanded and refinished (a job my dad is coming to help with) so pray for his eyes!
Our days are turning sweeter around here, for that I am rejoicing beyond imagintion...you should see my happy dance! Thankful to God for seeing us through every season and for his grace and kindness today!

A visit to papa and nana's

2011-12-07T18:28:00.001-08:00

We went to my parents about a month ago and I am just now getting photos up..

Here is Molly with her 12 days younger cousin Amy kate.. Or as Knox calls her "amy cake"...

And Molly with her papa who calls her his angel...gotta love that look on her face!

We celebrated Charlie's birthday while we were there because his birthday lands on thanksgiving this year..here is Hope and here two girls..

My dad managed to construct a wagon for the grand kids to ride in so that we had a real live hayride while we were there. It was a hit!

Here we are on our Annual trip to Mayfield Farm on Halloween. We dress up and go enjoy the festivities and then come home to go door to door with our three neighbors. You gotta look T the expression on knox's face. He was Molly's age last year when we did the hayride so i Asked him what he thought, he said it was "bumpy".

Us

2011-11-29T16:57:00.000-08:00

You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your hand
And lead me in Your righteousness

And I look to You
And I wait on You

I'll sing to You Lord
A hymn of Love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
Through it all

-Hill songs Through it All-

We are still so filled wth thanks at the improvement in Molly. Knox has shown improvement in the bedtime issues as we consistently discipline. Brennan has returned to his more usual self, although three is quite the testing stage..to God be the glory for tidbits of rest we are receiving! Just doing formula instead of nursing is a HUGE break for me. B feeding always drains me in the most powerful way. More than being pregnant. Yes really. I usually feel great during pregnancy..just not while nursing, I literally feel like the babies suck the life out of me. My skin looses luster, I loose all my baby weight and then some, I have dark circles under my eyes..so although I may have to fight the flab extra hard this time, I am feeling more energetic and lively since she has been on the bottle.
Now, for another HUGE answer to prayer, while talking with a friend the other night I was reminded of a very dear little family here in Athens that has three older teenage daughters. They are/ were home schooled and may have time available during the mornings and/ or regular school hours. I called their mom out of sheer desperation to see if she might be willing to lend me one or two of them occasionally for help with the kids and or the home. You will be awed by our Gods kindness as you hear her response:
Joy! This is unbelievable we are doing a Book study with their girls called "preparing to be his helpmeet" ( read more here)
My husband and I have discussed how we feel it would be beneficial to have them kind of ' intern ' with a young wife and mom..
Wow! If that is not God's hand at work? You can read about them here
We start on Thursday I am so thrilled! Thank you GOD!!!!!!

Finch family news

2011-11-27T17:52:00.000-08:00

Hebrews 10:35
Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. 36For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.
FOR YOU HAVE NEED OF ENDURANCE
That is why God is taking us through this little family trial right now. And HE is making us stronger! We are learning so much through this season.
We are rejoicing today leaps and bounds. Molly Is a different child! She has gained two pounds, has slept from 9pm -4 or 5am the last three nights! She is eating well not crying or fussing during feeds, she is fussy only if ungry or tired. She has found her thumb and self soothes it is AMAZING! Sosososo many people have been praying for her and we are so grateful!
We are trying to decide whether or not to ome forward with bloodwork and further testing. Her reflux is still a dr concern. She still spits up but not as much. We don't know if we should put her through all of that if reflux supposedly gets better at 6 months we are considering waiting until then to make further plans for tests etc.
The boys are glad to have things closer to normal and enjoyed daddy time this last week as he took them to his memaws and left me and Molly to rest and recover. What a precious husband huh? He has been an amazinkg husband and dad through all of this thank you Jesus for the gift of a wise caring man!

Uh oh

2011-11-21T11:54:00.000-08:00

Okay I cannot get my blogpress app to work correctly apparently so when I posted my lLast update it published in my kitchen blog. So go to here to see some recent pics of us all..Click here. I will see if I can figure out what went wrong in the meantime...

Children's hospital visit

2011-11-19T09:53:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Molly and I went to Knoxvilles children's hospital for our first visit to the g.i. Doctor. Since my last post, I have been doing the formula nutramigen all but at once a day. Only bc Molly would cry uncontrollably and try to latch onto any skin she could, my chin, neck, hand, or even bens. It was obvious she wanted to nurse. I was nursing her once a day strictly for comfort. I wasn't even sure if she was getting much. But the cdoctor yesterday said the only way to see if she is struggling from a milk protein intolerance is to stop completely. She said that all mammals whether cows, goats or humans all make a protein in our mllk. That protein is what Molly is most likely unable to digest. She said if this formula doesn't work to move to one called Neocate which costs about $70 a can. We are going thru 2 cans as week right now. So whoa! The nutramigen is soy based.
Also she believes that she needs further testing on reflux. Molly is only in the 8th-10th percentile and weighs 11.1 lbs. I didn't think much about this until as I was leaving I met a lady who had her son who was born at 24 weeks and weighed 2.13 lbs at birth and he was now 3 1/2 months like Molly and they weighed the same thing. She thought her son was way behind because he was a premie and I just then realized that maybe Molly isnt keeping enough food down. If the reflux is simply a laundry inconvenience then I could care less, but it's more. She still spits up about 2 oz after a feeding and fusses after each feeding. The doctor wants us to run blood work and do x-rays. She said she didn't want to run a scope on a baby this young but if the X-rays show malformation or disfunctin she will. We go back to children's tomorrow (sunday) to do bloodwork and take a stool sample. We go on November 30 to have the xrays and we go December something ( i will haveto doube,check) for the results of the labwork.
We had care group at our house last night and they prayed for Molly's healing. We know that if God chooses to heal her we will giveHim all the glory,but if not He is still a good God working out good things in our hearts and teaching us much aboutHis Father heart.
Our boys are struggling with all the crying. Brennan is dealing with it by becoming very aggressive. He has never bitten anyone But left a hard black circle on Knox arm this week. When I asked him why he but he said he was angry..he has been hitting, taking toys from Knox and being defiant towards ben andme. The sound of a crying baby is hard enough on adults who know what to try to do to help a baby, but for a toddler who got mad at the doctor for hurting his brother and sister because he gave them shots and made them cry, it's difficult to understand. We think he is mad that we don't help her and plus just the sound of babies crying is a frustrating sound. It is their scream for help. Brennan is angry that we "won't" help her. He tells me all the time mom Molly is crying- can you help her? Or asked why I can't help her. It is effecting knox's sleep. He hears her up crying after her middle of the night feedings and doesn't understand why he can't be up too. I had just fallen back asleep around midnight the other night and we heard Knox get up. Ben got up and found im in front of the fridge with the fridge wide open with a carton of milk trying to open it. He had to be put back to bed three times that night and to without a spanking.at four in the morning. Both of the boys were doing so great with potty stuff. Brennan had gone three months without wetting his pull up at night. It was wet twice this week. Knox has had to go back to pull ups complelty after wearing underwear for a month before molly was born.
Ben can't get away from the crying even with his soundproof headphones and the office door locked. He is looking into an office space downtown again. We are looking for household help.
There are numerous times when I have to set Molly down as far away from the boys as I can and go discipline them over jotting, taking toys away etc. I have to raise my voice for them to even hear me over her cries. They have been yelling at me and each other now as a new thing.
I could go on and on telling ou the drama at our house but I want to leave you knowing that ben and I have faith that Gods Grace is sufficient and that he will do abundantly more than we could ask or imagine.
Psalm 71:5
For you, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O LORD, from my youth.
Hebrews 10: 35-36 therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised

Update on Molly

2011-11-12T08:40:00.001-08:00

I will try to give you run down what h gone on with Molly. Since she was about 2 weeks old ( I'm not sure what triggered it) but Molly began screaming while she was eating and afterwards for about a 10 minutes up to 30 or more. She pulled off and on a lot and squirmed and twisted while nursing,she burped and spit up large amounts after every feeding. I told my pediatrician at each check up and he had me first go no daIry then no soy. He said to stay away from gassy foods like broccoli sweet potatoes spinach etc. I did. He mentioned no gluten, I did it. I was eating a pear for bfast, a banana for lunch, steamed rice and chicken for dinner. I was drinking coconut, or almond milk (which I enjoy both) and watching every morsel that went in my mouth. She was still Behaving the same way during nursings. My pediatrician and countless others recommended that I move to formula. I did and gradually have stopped bfeeding completely today being the first day since she was born that I haven't. I kept nursing even just a little because I didn't want to get mastitis since I am very proned to that. She still fusses after feedings, she still spits up large amounts ( like 1-3 oz) she doesn't scream or squirm while taking the bottle she does pull off and on the bottle a lot, she will only take a #2 top on an agent bottle without either drowning ( on #3 or up or fast flow on dr brown or playtex nursers) or taking 30 minutes or more to take the bottle (with #1 or slow flow tops). There have been days where she cried for an hour up to four hours non stop unable to be consoled with the five s fix (swaddle,suck,stomach/side,sshhh,sway) she slept great when she first came home for 5-6 hour streches. And then whatever the switch was that got turned on about feeding fussy got turned off about sleeping well. At first I just thought it was because we traveled. We were in Alabama for a family wedding on bens side and he did the photography. We visited his grandmother and she met mollyfor the first time. We knew it was the right thing to do because she has not been well lately. But it was a rough go for Molly. Me and the boys went to my moms from there and I tried to just see it as a messed up schedule and different locations.
She was 4 weeks old.
She is now 13 weeks old. we try to keep the schedule, sleeping and feeding, we stay at home most every day. It isn't that. The dr called in Zantac. We didn't see a change. After being in Alabama last week and my parents observing her and concluding something was definitely amiss we revisited pediatrician on Monday. He recommended that I go on formula completely even though he agrees "breast is always best". He recommended me to a gastreologist and we have an appt on Friday the 18th. He called in Prilosec and after one dose she vomited and had diarea. We haven't continued that medication.
She sleeps for about four maybe five hours at night. She naps for about an hour at a time during the day. She has been very gassy and congested since we started the formula. She has had green snot the past two mornings. But dr said no relation, that her ears are clear.
The boys are so tired of her crying (and me toooooo!!!!!!!!)
We pray for her daily and every time I was in th nursing room at our church since her birth some sympathetic mom has prayed for her healing. She is a very happy baby when she isn't n pain. I wish I knew what to do to help her. I have tried everything I know. We are praying for answers this Friday. They may have to do a scope which means she may have to be put to sleep. Those are not fun thoughts for a mom, but we just want her to get help.
We have read through the symptoms of colic and really don't feel like that is what it is. She doesn't cry only at certain times of the day. She doesn't seem to be soothed by the things that sooth colicky babies...so...we just want to know what it is bemuse she is in obvious pain.It seems to have worsened in the last few weeks. Please pray for us but know that although we are physically and mentally exhausted we are spiritually encouraged and being strengthened.

Spurgeon sermon

2011-11-11T05:22:00.000-08:00

I wanted to share this link to a Charles Spurgeon sermon that has really ministered to me. It is based on psalm 84:11-12
For the Lord God is a sun and shield: the Lord will give Grace and Glory: no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.
O Lord of Hosts, blessed is the man that trusts in You!”

http://spurgeongems.org/vols28-30/chs1659.pdf

2011-11-09T10:38:00.000-08:00

You know that feeling you get when you are swimming and you have pushed it as hard as you can, as long as you can and you must, you MUST come up for air?
Many of you are waiting for an update, you have seen the failed attempts of my last two posts and you are beginning to wonder about me (or so ivebeen told:)
Well that is where I am that swimming-need-to-come-up-for-air point. I spent some time at my parents last weekend because my dads family was having a get together and my parents Came and got me and the kiddos. My mom dad and sis felt like something more was going on with Molly and so I have spent a week trying to help her. And care for two full of energy little boys and keep clean clothes and dishes. And that's all. For those of you familiar with my cleaning schedule you know what that means. I have done NOTHING except survive each moment each day. I know I thought I was there before but I got there in a new way lately. I don't want you to hear this as complaining for God tells us to do everything without complaining. And truly I am thankful I n my heart for what I am learning and experiencing.
We used to play a game called highs and lows. You had to give a one word summary of a your day and if I could give a one word summary of this season it would be weary.isnt it good to know that GOD NEVER grows tired or weary? 28 Do you not know?
   Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
   the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
   and his understanding no one can fathom.
29 He gives strength to the weary
   and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
   and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the LORD
   will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
   they will run and not grow weary,
   they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40

The lyrics to these three songs have ministered to m y heart in ways I cannot explain:
Hillsong's I will run to you

Your eye is on the sparrow
And Your hand, it comforts me
From the ends of the Earth to the depth of my heart
Let Your mercy and strength be seen

You call me to Your purpose
As angels understand
For Your glory, may You draw all men
As Your love and grace demand

And I will run to You
To Your words of truth
Not by might, not by power
But by the spirit of God
Yes I will run the race
'Till I see Your face
Oh let me live in the glory of Your grace

And Scott underwood you are in control:

You are my shepherd, I have no needs.

You lead me by peaceful streams,

And You refresh my life.

You hold my hand, and You guide my steps,

I could walk through the valley of death,

And I won't be afraid.

Because You are in control. You are in control.

You cause everything to work together

You truly have a sovereign plan.

And You know who I am, and You made who    I am,

And You love who   I am.

And Charlie Hall's on the road to beautiful

I crumble at Your kiss and grace
I'm a weakling in the dust
Teach me how to cling to You
With all my life and all my love

Father come to me, hold me up 'cause I can barely stand
My strength is gone and my breath is short, I can't reach out my hands
But my heart is set on a pilgrimage to heaven's own bright King
So in faltering or victory I will always sing

And on the road to beautiful
My seasons always change
But my life is spent on loving You
To know You in Your power and pain

You're my portion in this life
You're my strength now in my fight
And to You I pledge my heart
In the pain and in the dark I'll love You
I'll love You, I'll love You

I'll love You...

And my heart is set on a pilgrimage to heaven's own bright King
So in faltering or victory I will always sing

I love You

I pray this blesses you for I am truly learning of Gods strength in my weakness right now.

Life lately

2011-10-20T11:06:00.001-07:00

We got. To go Out. On. A date.

A real date. Like gone more than an hour..We went to a really net place in Chattanooga called fFood Works. We got sweet potatoe chips and dip and I got a crab cake and ben got shrimp and grits. It was sone of those places you know its safe to order seafood and it will be good.

As a child we had huge maple trees that dropped TONS of leaves. Sme of my favorite memories are piling up those leaves and jumping in them...history repeats its self..here is Brennan diving into a pile at the bottom of our slide.

-

And here is littleMolly-Lu. That's whati call here but ben calls her Molly pop. The boys are still crazy over her! She is doing great full of grins and beginning to form a schedule..she wakes when hungry, stays awake aftere each feed for about an hour to 1.5 then goes back to sleep for an hour to 1.5. She is beginning to grab for things and really spends to her. Daddy and Knox. Brennan is kind of oh well about her most of the time.
We went to the doctor on Tuesday for shots. All three kids.yep. My attitude was get it all over with at once.we did. Knox got four,Brennan three Molly two and the rota virus oral stuff. She weighed 11 pounds at 10 weeks. It was quite crazy with three crying kids. And as we left Knox set off our car alarm so picture that..me leaving the dr with Molly in her infantino on my belly, and a boy in each hand and my Yukon honking at the entire scene..it was great...I just had to laugh out loud..
Our verse for the week is "i am weak but God is strong" it was perfect for the moment.
I got to go get a haircut while the boys were at mothers day out yesterday. It was such a treat! As soon as I sat down she poured some rosemary mint oil in here hands and massaged my head before she got started. I said its worth coming for a trim just for this! Plus she did a fabulous job and I got to catch up on her son, a former student of mine..she said that two years ago when he got a letter from himself that i mailed it was so timely as she a going through a divorce and felt like he wasn't listening to her. She said he still hadn't pinned to his bulletin board. I always had my students write a letter to themselves reminding them of what their goals where in life and what they needed to do to accomplish them,then I mail it to them a year later..I was so glad to hear that it mattered and didn't just get tossed..you know?
Well our house is quite messy and we ha care group here tomorrow night do I better go get my worker bees and get to work..

Knox

2011-10-13T11:29:00.001-07:00

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Sock monkey number two..

Loves his cowboy hat.. And he what the shirt says is true!

With his papa and brother..it doesn't get much better..

He is learning to ride his bike and doing really well. You should see him fly down the driveway!

All grown up with his hands in his pockets!

Everywhere that Brennan goes, Knox is sure to follow...

Molly

2011-10-13T11:26:00.001-07:00

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Molly's baby dedication was last Sunday. At our church it's not the dress up where a white handmade dress, you're the only one type deal. There were eleven babies dedicated on sunday. They do baby dedications four times a year and there are always this many. Really. Our church has a ton of babies! They show a picture of each baby introducing them to the church n the pastors spray for each family for the salvation of the child and guidance in raising them for the parents.

We are the ones right next to the podium on the left

Knox loves his sis..and she loves him. He brings a smile to her face, as he does the rest of us..

Here is Nana. I love this because she has her little hand wrapped around my moms neck!

Brennan news update

2011-10-13T11:19:00.001-07:00

I am so proud of Brennan. He knows all his letters and is beginning to form words. He wrote this with chalk when my parents came to visit.

He wrote this last Friday to welcome our CARE GROUP to our house. I love that he mixes capitals and lowercase it looks like a font..

Here he is the one behind he camera..BRENNAN took these pictures! Ben got some new camera equipment and was outside trying out different lighting techniques. Brennan went inside, got my camera and came out for his own photo shoot..

Knox has his play camera..thats all we let him have right now, he is a bit destructive..

Yep..he took these pictures too. Im thankful that he just got my feet in the last one because no one wants to see me in my pjs, no makeup doing chores..right??!!

And here he is trying on his fall festival costume..a sock monkey..isn't it precious?

Location:Guille St,Athens,United States

2011-10-12T11:31:00.000-07:00

’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
And to know, “Thus saith the Lord!”
Refrain:
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er;
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
Oh, for grace to trust Him more!

Oh, how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood;
And in simple faith to plunge me
’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!

Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace.

I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,
Wilt be with me to the end.

Hymns

2011-10-09T18:44:00.000-07:00

I grew up on hymns. Lots and lots of them. I remember not using a hymnal I knew them so well before the age of ten..they are Ingraved in my memory and come back to me om time to time either a line or verse or melody. We still sing them on occasion at our church and they are mor precious now. At times as a child they were minotonus, something I could do in my sleep that meant close to nothing to me. They were just familiar songs that half the time I didn't even know what all the words meant.in college remember the worship music beings exciting and thinking this is more like what i think the musician heaven will be like because the people singing it seemed so excited and genuine. There was this one lady though,when we went to a first baptist for a little while, that sang in the choir (donned in her rbe of course) that would just cry sometimes even weep as she sang..i knew she loved her Savior, I think often of Mary who thought so little of the opinion of others and was so passionate about her love for sweet Jesus that she worshiped extravagantly at his feet not worrying of others thoughts or comments. My heart longs to be more like that.
Today the words of this hymn have been playing through my head:~ Chorus by Ralph E. Hudson, 1843-1901

Stanza 1:

Alas! and did my Savior bleed?

And did my Sov'reign die?

Would He devote that sacred head

For such a worm as I?

Chorus :

At the cross, at the cross,

Where I first saw the light,

And the burden of my heart rolled away -

It was there by faith I received my sight,

And now I am happy all the day.

Stanza 2:

Was it for crimes that I have done

He groaned upon the tree? Amazing pity! Grace unknown!

And love beyond degree!

(Chorus)

Stanza 3:

Well might the sun in darkenss hide

And shut its glories in,

When Christ, the mighty Maker, died

For man the creature's sin.

(Chorus)

Stanza 4:

Thus might I hide my blushing face

While His dear cross appears;

Dissolve my heart in thankfulness,

And melt mine eyes to tears.

(Chorus)

Stanza 5:

But drops of grief can ne'er repay

The debt of love I owe:

Here, Lord, I give myself away -

'Tis all that I can do!
I love that last line. Moms doesn't that encourage you?

Respect

2011-10-03T09:56:00.001-07:00

"...and the wife must respect her husband..." Ephesians 5:33
Respect is phobeo in Greek meaning to reverence, venerate, to treat with deferene or reverential obedience.

Respect in websters is an act of giving particular attention or special regard to
Deferene- esteem due/ affected or ingratiating regard for another's wishes
Ingratiating- capable of winning favor/ intended or adopted in order to gain favor

Venerate- to honor, reverence and show admiring devotion

Honor- to show evidence of distinction

I have often wondered what it meant to respect my husband. This morning I was looking for a bible verse to teach Brennan about respect so that he would understand why we use Mr. And Mrs. In front of names. I stumbled across this verse in my search and decided to do a little word study.
I have read books, searched for books and resources that would teach me what respect looked like in my life towards my husband. This word study helped me more than anything I have read

2011-09-30T11:46:00.001-07:00

-knox's happy birthday muffin...

It me forever to figure out what Knox asked for..

Check out those boots

All Knox wanted from Hunter and Chase was a ride on their gator..

Here we are at Bens birthday celebration.

Chase...

We all had a blast!

Happy birthday Ben and Knox!

Our little ones..

2011-09-30T11:05:00.001-07:00

Knoxie is growing into such a big boy!

-

This is how we spend our evenings after supper. Outside enjoying the fall weather

Yesterday Brennan found a tiny caterpillar and said look mom its the very hungry caterpillar!

Then he had to show it to Molly who was quite interested!

Knox is quite the fan of little sister, especially her hair!

Nap time on Mommy and Daddy's bed..

Dr and other thoughts..

2011-09-19T05:12:00.000-07:00

I went Friday for my six weeks check up and so did Molly. I talked with the dr about how fussy she is during feedings. He said it didnt sound like most people that complain about similar things,but suggested I come off dairy for 3 weeks and see if that helps. They checked a poopy diaper to see if there was blood in the stool and it came back positve. My lactation consultant is on vacation until the 30th, so I am asking you other mothers what you think it could be.
Molly is a great baby. She cries when she is hungry or has a gas pain. She rarely cries, but she fusses during feedings. Pulling off occasionally, gurgling, gulping, clicking..sounding like a little piggy. My milk always seems to come so fast. The boys did the same thing, except they didn't cry. She cries, like she is choking like she is strangled, then she spits up. And it is about the same amount as Brennan did, maybe more and it seems to shoot out. Brennan's seemed to almost just burp up, but occasionally was explosive. Her's always seems to explode from deeper...
She sleeps great. Her schedule is usually eats every three hours except right before bedtime I feed her every two. Then she sleeps for 5-6 hours. I feed her then she goes back to sleep for another 3 hours. She naps well in the mornings between feedings and stays awake happy for about 20 minutes after each feeding. She likes to look around,she follows voices, faces and grabs for her pacy.
I talked with two friends whose babies had milk sensitivities/ allergy and they said their babies cried all the time. One of them even noticed obvious blood in the stool. After two- three days of no dairy they both saw an obvious difference. I have not, molly does not cry all the time and I have not seen a difference even though it should take three weeks to get it out of my system..
I am trying to decide if I should continue this diet or not. Dairy is in everything! And I read that milk oversupply can cause the same symptoms. I know that you don't have all the time in the world but I am including the links from a VERY reliable source sent to me from my lactation consultant and I would REALLY love to hear what you think, especially you nursing mommies.
Here is what is says about reflux
Here Is what it says about dairy allergy
Here is what it says about milk oversupply.
Here is what it says about blood in the stool.

Surviving three

2011-09-13T18:17:00.000-07:00

So many people are asking how its gong with us...and I will begin by telling you our family verse for the week last week and this one is "do everything without complaining or arguing" phil 2:14
I put it on our chalkboard in the Playroom to remind myself as much as the boys..this weeks verse is" rejoice in the Lord always"...we sang the song and talked about the Lord being another name for God..we have just begun this Monday morning bible time with the boys to work on a verse and concept all week.again I will tell you it is much more than for me than for them. It sets my heart right and teaches me to be the example of a follower of Gods commands.
Knoxmight have had an ear infection didn't take him to the dr but he complained of his ears for two days.Brennan had some pimento cheese with food coloring in it on accident and we had a wild child for two days. Molly ...
We think has colic...or reflux...or a dairy or protein allergy.we talk to the dr again tomorrow. I have researched the symptoms and she has all the symptoms of reflux. We go to the dr tomorrow.
My brain seems like scrambled eggs, I don't think I have finished a phone conversation or any other conversation for that matter in weeks, so sorry friends for not returning calls etc.
But for the most part it is good. As crazy as it is I would have it no other way. I think Knox and Brennan being so close was so tough there about a year ago that just about anything seems less than that:) God is faithfully providing grace one day at a time!

Picture overload

2011-09-12T17:45:00.001-07:00

Here are some super late pics from the hospital...now that Molly is one onto old...

Here is reality..it is 2:30 in the afternoon and Brennan is still in his pjs. He has woken me up from a nap because he woke up from his. Knoxis still snoozing in their room and if my picture was taken I believe my pjs are still on!

On august 25 Knox turned two years old. Ben and I said we don't remember Knox not walking..it's like his baby days are a blur..maybe that was because that was brennans intense stage..Knox is in his. INTENSE seems such a mild word to describe this little man! Happy birthday knoxie..

It took about four times of me asking Knox what he wanted for his birthday to understand what he was saying it was like "llbrro"... I didn't know what he was saying until he took me to bens and said like daddy's. So grandaddy searched the county for a usable wheelbarrow that is already dirty and still full of sticks.

We got Knox a book called 'my truck is stuck' for his birthday. We were all so excited because when we had checked it out of the library we read it over and over and he asked for it everyday after it was returned. Do you want to know his response when opening it? "Pops"... He was excited about the plastic popping wrapper!!!!!!

Brennan and Ben in after dinner entertainment mode..you should hear Brennan he is quite the understudy!

Here is our rainy day fun brought to you from nana's back porch...yes all the way in "nanabama" as Knox calls it.

Brennanbob the builder..

Anna beth..look at that hair! Brennan thinks his cousin is so pretty..

Here they are..the rainy day hat party..yes knox is pant less. Is there any other way?

update

2011-08-22T17:36:00.000-07:00

Brief facts today. i am short on energy and low on laptop battery;
I had a UTI. Thought meds made me have 'the runs' (i will forever think of my college roomate when i say that-1st time i'd heard it)
BUT i have a virus. A MEAN ONE! it has not let me keep ANY food in me for 72 hours..including the BRAT diet or saltines!
Somehow Miss Molly has managed to soil diapers appropriately-im drinking a ton..
Brennan has it too.
Immodium in liquid form tastes DISGUSTING!!!! (oh and it has blue and yellow dye)
Postpardum issues are complicated with a virus..i will spare you details.
Knox is cutting his 2 year molars..and has a new interest-a pacy..'like Molly' he says
Brennan told Ben today "i threw up cept it came out my bottom"- a perfect description of our virus. We laughed.

a sketch of me

2011-08-19T18:27:00.000-07:00

Today i sat down and thought
what if my children drew a sketch of me?
Would they draw in my hand a spanking spoon?
or would i be instead be holding a broom
looking at all the dirty gloom?

Would they draw on my face a smile?
or would i be hiding under a laundry pile?
What would be biggest on the page
my mouth, my eyes filled with rage?

O to find their hands had drawn
their little hands inside my own
or great big arms stretched open wide
waiting to hug them tight inside...

O Lord this is my prayer...
make it true and take me there!
Sanctify my heart until
this is the picture they draw for real.

I Wish I Had a Child Like You

2011-08-18T10:30:00.000-07:00

I Wish I Had a Child Like You

blessed

2011-08-16T17:38:00.000-07:00

I was outside this evening after dinner watching Ben chop down trees and limbs, watching two very happy very healthy bous play and a beautiful swaddled little girl sleep beside me on the swing and I felt beyond blessed. This is the stuff I dreamed of and pretended and longed for my entire life. Now I know that tommorrow at that very same time I may be questioning my sanity and longing for them to turn 18, but for now it was a very precious moment of gratitude to a God that I cannot comprehend His love for me to have given me such sweet things on earth!
And may I say that He has supernaturally at just the right moment sent help to us? I have felt so spoiled and cared for by everyone! My mom, Bens mom, freinds, neighbors helping with the boys or molly or me. Doing laundry, bringing meals, helping entertain or distract the boys..bring treats and words of blessing. Thank you. What a loving heavenly Father huh?!

more..

2011-08-14T06:36:00.000-07:00

Here we are on our way to church-the first effort of back to normal. My mom has been here a week now and has done a tremendous job of keeping our house clean, meals prepare, boys occupied and quiet when needed. She has truly been a blessing to all of us as she has served our family..I wish I could repay her. She said I will when Molly has her children.
The boys have faired pretty well. We had a little meltdown last Monday night- Brennan expressing his desire for me to be back to normal-able to hold and care for him. I am not supposed to lift him for 6 weeks bc he weighs 40 lbs. Knox I can lift after 4 weeks. I still had a 1st degree tear even though she was small and my 3rd. Knox has dealt with it really well. He is such a daddy's boy it would be worse if it were Ben!
Ben has done so great at helping with baths and discipline. Its hard to spank when you can't lift and you just can't let a two year old only eat sweets all day or a three yr old get away with hitting and telling adults no..so...spankings are eminent.
Molly is doing great. She is sleeping 4-5 hours at night and I wake her bc of my own discomfort and need of relief..allyou nursing moms can identify! During the day she sleeps a ton (Gods kindness I believe to make newborns so sleepy) her wake time is early morning and 7-8 pm. She has cried the last two nights from 7 to 8..baby tummy adjusting I say but we are thinking it will go away..
We appreciate all prayers for our little family during this time thank you dear friends!

she is here

2011-08-10T09:42:00.000-07:00

Our little Molly is home and perfect and in our arms! We are so thankful! The delivery went well. For all you mommies out there that love reading birth stories here it goes:
I got to the hospital at 730 am. Did all the paperwork and got undressed and in that delivery room. I wasn't having the first contraction, had none through the night and felt like 'why am I here?' But on we go answer the 300 questions about my health and family history..have the monitors hooked up and around 9 they came in to start the iv. I started crying and looked at Ben with that look. He asked me what was wrong which trigured the nurse to stop and listen. I said I just want to make sure this is neccessary (the inducement). I asked what would happen if I waited? They let me talk directly to my doctor and she confirmed that Molly would be in danger if I waited..so strengthened with the knowledge that I was doing what was best for my baby girl.. come what may I was ready.
They started pitocin at 10am and the contractions began. Around 1 my doctor checked me I was at 5cm she asked if I wanted her to break my water then or wait til she got off at 5. The contractions were getting stronger and closer but still not bad. Though the nurse once again told me I had a high tolerance for pain..so she said she would be back at 5. Around 4 the nurse said my doctor would be here soon to break the water so I asked to go ahead and get the epideral. After that things moved pretty quick. I began to really feel the contractions in one area because the epideral didn't take on one side. After about 20 minutes the anesthesiologist was able to get it to work..I had to curl up ina a ball and not move for 20 minutes while they gave a bolus (sp?) I was able to rest for about 20min and was feeling heavy pressure I knew her head was ready. When my dr came in she said let's see if that worked and when she (excuse the graphic here) opened my legs she said oh my get my gloves she is here! I had one contraction and they told me to push I pushed three times and heard her cry!
My first thought was praise God a precious healthy baby...my second thought was look at all that hair! I am not posting any pictures because Ben has already introduced her to the world through his blog..please visit his and see a ton of pics..and if you use instagram or follow twitter he has posted on both of those..
Welcome to our little family Baby Molly!
I will update soon with how we are all adjusting!

the latest..

2011-08-03T12:22:00.000-07:00

I had my regular doctors appointment. She checked me and i was at 2 cm. That was HIGHLY disappointing because with Brennan i was at 3, and Knox i was at 6. BUT she wanted to check my fluid level because i had not increased in measurement since 35 weeks. I had not gained weight since 35 weeks and i had felt a decrease in movement. So she ordered an ultrasound. The ultrasound showed that my fluid levels were very low. Normal is 15..i was at 7. At 6 they order immediate induction and/or c-section. So she said why dont we strip your membranes, see if you go into labor on your own tonight and if not we will schedule an induction for in the morning. So she stretched me to a three, stripped my membranes (not quite as painful as i remembered) and home we went.
My mom will travel up withe boys in the morning, we can have one more night to rest (possibly) and i can have our bags completely packed instead of waiting to add toiletries. I have no idea what its like to do this and i am admittedly a little nervous, but I know that this is the best thing for Molly. Dr. Wyndham said if her fluid level gets too low she could accidentally lay on the cord and then there would be trouble..So i am to hydrate a lot tonight, walk and rest.
And here we go!! I go to the hospital at 7:30 am..

update

2011-08-02T17:48:00.000-07:00

For those of you watching closely on here for when Molly is to arrive, I have an appointment at 10 am tomorrow. She will check to see how dilated i am. If i am past 3 cm she may 'stretch' me to a four and/or strip my membranes. I had this done with Brennan. Its killer. Really no fun. BUT...my boys are in Alabama until i go into labor. My dad has a big work project this weekend, my sister is only 2 weeks away from delivery and our house is spotless, clothes are clean, bags are packed...
i hardly know how to exist on such little being required of me!
A girl from the boys mothers day out program, due the same day as me had her baby girl yesterday. A girl that Ben and i have been keeping up with that lives down the road, due same day as me- had her baby girl today.
I had a massage today (Ben had bartered that from a client about a year ago)..she is certified in maternity massage and it was amazing! Although all the pressure points that were supposed to send me into labor haven't quite taken effect yet...She is just not ready.
I am still not discouraged. I am aware that God knows best and will give us exactly what we need when we need it...please do pray for all the details of my family's travel and arrival for Molly's birth..

As I prepare

2011-08-01T11:12:00.000-07:00

Here is a great article that was full of fabulous reminders for me as I prepare to be a new parent again:

From a book my dear friend Lil bought for me:
"Here is a sweet, fragrant mouth to kiss; here are two more feet to make music with their pattering about my nursery. Here is a soul to train for God; and the body in which it dwells is worthy all it will cost, since it is the abode of a kingly tenant. I may see less of friends, but I have gained one dearer than them all, to whom, while I minister in God's name, I will make a willing sacrifice of what little leisure for my own recreation my other darlings had left me. Yes, my precious baby, you are welcome to your mother's heart, welcome to her time, her strength, her health, her tenderest cares, her life-long prayers! Oh, how rich I am, how truly, how wondrously blest!"...
And...from the resurgence blog:

"Here are the things I know about God because I feel these ways for my baby:

God loves me more than I can know
God cleans up my messes—even when they’re really messy
Just because I’m crying doesn’t mean that God isn’t doing what’s best for me
God loves me because I’m his child, not because of what I do
I don’t understand 99.9% of what God has done for me
God has always provided
He knows my cry and can interpret what I need better than I can articulate it
God has a lot of patience
God feels a deep sense of responsibility for me
God gave up a lot of important things for me
God must love our worship, when I hear my baby coo it melts my heart
God is a comforter
I am weak but he is strong
When I scream in his face he is worried about me
I’m essentially useless to God right now, but he loves me any way
God wants good for me
...from
Http://mikeyanderson.com/post/5580033335/thingsivelearnedaboutgod

emotions

2011-07-30T07:02:00.000-07:00

My parents just drove off with my two boys...
My dad had to be in north Alabama to settle some more stuff over my uncles death, my mom went too thinking i may go into labor and she would at least be that close. They offered to take them home until Molly comes.
I cried when they drove off not knowing what emotion to feel. Was this my last few days with them before i have the constant care of a newborn and their boundless energy to contend with? Should i be giving that up?
I had both the boys in my 39th week. i am 38 weeks and 5 days today.. so if you look at things in light of that- i really have 2-5 days before she comes. Exciting, yes. Scary, yes.
I was up last night from 12:17-1:37am with contractions 5 minutes apart. It had been an hour and my bags weren't totally packed so i got up to complete the task and see if they worsened or quickened upon my rising. Nope. Stopped- as in completely. Still nothing-its 10 am..
My parents were asleep on the couch, prepared in case i went into labor to stay with the boys. I must admit i did get a little excited that i could be holding our little girl today, but i was TOTALLY exhausted and felt overwhelmed physically at the thought of laboring for a couple of hours with a future of endless nights without being awakened every two hours. So God is being gracious to me that i have this time of rest before she comes...time to sleep, sleep, and...yawn...sleep. To eat and not have the constant care and chatter that my precious little men bring. To be alone with Ben. To have a clean house last more than an hour.
Last Saturday we rode 4 wheelers at my sis in laws, i swept, mopped and vaccumed our entire house this week, took long walks at night, continued daily tasks of laundry, lifting the boys, cleaning, cooking, bathing them etc. I have stored up extra food in the freezer, labeled and dated. I have done grocery and sundry shopping, worked in the yard, eaten spicy foods and all the 'tricks' that are supposed to send you into labor..
I am tired.
I recognize this as a time of rest and am receiving it gladly, though admittedly with twinges of disappointment. My parents were going to take the boys to Alabama after Molly had been home 2 weeks and we had all adjusted to the addition a little and to give us a break. But now we don't know if that will happen because Hope is also due this month. The last week in August. And will need my mom around that time. So i am relinquishing all plans and waiting. And resting.

A weekend with Uncle Ish

2011-07-25T06:25:00.000-07:00

I didn't realize that Ben and Ish were 'gods' in college until Ben was gone to Memphis and people found out we were dating. By we i mean Ben and me, although many did not separate the two of them...
Ish and i coped together in the 'loss' of our best of the best. We missed him and would mope around talking about how much we loved Ben.
Now he has married a WONDERFUL lady that happened to live across the hall from me freshman year in the dorm. Mrs Amber Montgomery Pruitt..we are SOSOSOSOS happy for them and we got the treat of having them stay with us a couple of weekends ago. Ben had been dying to take the canoe out and Ish was just the inspiration he needed. Here are some pictures from our adventure:

Letter to Myself

2011-07-23T10:02:00.000-07:00

Dear Joy,
This is a letter to yourself to remind you of some things that you have learned this year.
"...you shall remember the whole way that the LOrd has led you..that He might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart..letting you hunger and then feeding you...take care lest you forget the LOrd your God..beware lest you say in your heart my power and might got me here..you shall remember the LOrd your God for it is HE who gives power.." Deuteronomy 8

You will make the same mistakes as you have before, your struggles will not change, but let what you have learned of God stay fresh in your memory. Recite it to yourself as these challenging days ahead creep up and be encouraged at growth and God's faithfulness.
When Brennan was born you had it all figured out. You were the perfect parent, with the perfect child, that slept through the night and on a schedule because you worked diligently to teach him how...and then he turned 15 months and you realized you are not a perfect parent, he was a sinful child just like every other child that had proceeded from a woman and not only that you had another baby to care for. WHat did you learn of God during that season? That His Word is the guide for parenting, not my thoughts, theories or studies, that Christ is the standard of perfection and we all fall short, that try as you may you will fail on your own. You learned to hunger...that you might be fed. YOu longed for control, but God continually lovingly took it away, that you might be fed by his sufficent power stronger than yours. You hungered for sleep, but God taught your SOUL to rest. You hungered for encouragement from friends and other parents, for someone to understand-God fed you with his fathomless understanding (Isaiah 40:28) "he does not faint or grow weary his understanding is unserachable. He gives power to the faint and to him who has no might he increases strength"
Knox was a fighter, of sleep of schedules of your will. You fought back at first until you realized 2 Chronicles 20:15 "Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.." You learned that "You are good and do good" Psalm 119:68 and that "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows James 1:16-18
"For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to anyone." Lamentations 3:32-34
You learned an advanced version of Romans 8:28 by looking at verse 18: .."consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.."
and the rest of the chapter made more sense
"...For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. 26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. 28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

You have so far to go. You are still very selfish. You still want the world to work around what serves you best but take heart
"...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
Philippians 1:6
"...If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Romans 8

Just ask HIm Joy, daily for he will give you ALL things you need. If you have it not, its because you need it not, or have failed to ask. He will supply your needs and IF you are humble before Him He will show you what your needs are so that you may look to Him to supply them so that you may learn of His power and rest in HIS strength.

Remember "...We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. 9 Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God!"

He loves you JOY, he just wants you to know all of HIm and to do that you must be willing to trust all of you to Him..
Psalm 31:14 But I trust in you, LORD; I say, “You are my God.” 15 My times are in your hands; 19 How abundant are the good things that you have stored up for those who fear you.."
Ephesians 3:20 "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory!"

Lovinlgy,
Your July 22, 2011 self

2011-07-19T10:45:00.000-07:00

http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/motherhood-as-a-mission-field

An article that blesses my soul...

updates

2011-07-18T18:02:00.000-07:00

Well i am definately dialating..you know that feeling by #3.. so we will see. Still no contractions. She did not check to see if i was further dialated this past Thursday because i had one more day of my seminar to renew my teaching license and my family had enough going on with my dad's brother's funeral on Friday. But she was concerned that i was not showing growth so she ordered an ultrasound. Miss Molly weighs an estimated 6.2 lbs and everything seemed to be developing fine.
Our boys are great. Brennan told me today that he was glad i was here and that i didn't have to go to school anymore. (i was gone from 8-2:30 daily last week). Knox is cutting ALLLLL FOUR of his 2 year molars. That stinks! It makes for afternoons of lots of crying and early morning restlessness and waking. But he is so sweet and fun and is really starting to show affections. Molly's bag is packed for the hospital, the infant carrier is in the car, but my bags are still not packed nor my toenails painted.. :)
We sing the little prayer "God our Father" or say "God is great" blessings before eating trying to encourage the boys to acknowledge and thank God as provider for our food. We only do this at dinner, at lunch we use our words and at bedtime we ask the boys what they want to thank God for. Lately Brennan has really been trying to take care of Knox A LOT! Like when he falls Brennan runs to try to pick him up or he will give him a toy or hug when he is crying and say "its ok". Tonight we were on the way home and Knox started fussing. It was me and the boys alone and they were in the "far back" seat of the yukon..i heard Brennan go "Knox do you want me to sing to you?" "knox replies "huh" (his yes)...Ok and then knox says "firefigher one" which is really "God our Father" but for some reason when Knox says it it sounds like firefighter..he thinks we are saying God-fire-fighter, God-fire-fighter, we thank you, we thank you" and i guess that as corny as it is..God is the ultimate FIREFIGHTER fighting off Satan's firey darts for us and rescuing us from the flames of hell..there you go my darling Knox, you have understood and coined a phrase far beyond your understanding!
Next i hear Brennan "God our Father, God our Father.." Knox chiming in...God-firefighter, God-firefighter" then they start in with Knox going God is great(.......Long pause....) like we do when we are waiting on him to echo...it was precious! Made this mama's day.

Ready or not

2011-07-08T18:16:00.001-07:00

I have really been a stinker in the blog world..not many updates, nor pictures etc. Things have been good around here. Unordinarily sweet. The boys have found a comradery that blesses my soul. I have determined to focus less on our house being spotless and absolutely sterile before Molly comes and turned to discipline and focused attention on the boys before that has to be a less frequent pleasure..Seriously i enjoy cleaning our house..its a stress reliever for me. And spending time enjoying hugs, kisses and snuggle before bedtimes are a leisure that i must give to myself and our boys. It blesses them and i have found encourages a sweetness in them towards each other and me..
I LOVE them..Let me just tell you a couple of funny stories from Brennan lately:
If you are on facebook you probably saw the cowboy story but here it is again:
I was cleaning up bfast dishes in the kitchen and Brennan came running into the room in his cowboy boots and went straight for the door to outside. I asked him where he was going and he said "to the cowboy place" very matter of factly. I said "oh, where is that?" after thinking for a second he said" umm..close to heaven i think".. PRICELESS!! In his little 3 year old cowboy mind, its gotta be about as close to heaven as you can get..!
Last night after i had put the boys in bed i heard a toy go off in the playroom. Recently it has been left to the on position, so if you walk across the floor it goes off if another toy bumps it in the toybox. I didn't think much about it and just thought maybe Brennan had to get up to pee. SO i checked their bathroom. Sure enough there he was. Except he was sitting which only means one thing-sit down yourself for you are in for a 10 minute pooping process. YOu have to coach him, remind him what he is doing, help him focus and after a while he is done..so he starts in about the wallpaper what is that ect and i say 'hey buddy you need to finish pooping remember..' he grunts for a while them he says 'there is something stuck in my bottom' (i translate..oops i havent watched the fruit intake..need to eat some for bfast) then he says "its a little bit of giant poopses" he grunts.."its hard" im sorry buddy i say..trying not to laugh ast sound effects that boys need no encouragment in finding hilarious..then "I got it out!" he shouts with excitement!
And lastly he comes and kisses my belly a lot lately saying hey to MOlly. The other day he said "hey MOlly i'm ready for you to come out now" and after he woke up for his nap he came in and asked where she was. i told him still in my belly..apparently he had faith that she was going to comply with his desire for her to enter the world and was a little dissappointed when she was still 'in there'.
He has been carrying around the little boy baby my mom bought him before Knox was born and rocking her and even knox has been singing "jesus" (Jesus, Jesus, Jesus there's just something about that name..its his fave) to the doll. They have put her down for naps and Brennan tells Knox, "she wants to hold me now". Brennan even said he was home from the hospital the other day so he must remember a lot more than i thought about Knox's birth.
Knox has been super sweet lately. He twiddles his hair while he sucks his two middle fingers. It is what he does when he is tired. Lately he has twiddled Brennan's, mine, Ben's and...get this..our dog Bailey's hair! I have tried stuffed animals, blankets all of it but to no avail. He prefers hair. He has been considerate of Brennan and looks for him if he doesn't see him walking around calling "Brother"..He loves LOVES to eat meat, wrestle with his Daddy on our king size bed and drive dump trucks. And just so you know...EVERY time i give him a hat to put on his head he turns it around backwards (if you remember i 'prophisied' that before his birth) :) Speaking of birth:
I was 1 cm dialated on Thursday, 25% effaced. My doc said her head was very far down making it difficult for her to even feel my cervix. I am still not measuring up to week 37 but she just thinks that Molly will be 'petite'. i hadn't gained any weight since last visit. I go again this Thursday while the boys are in Alabama at my parents. I have conference at TWC to renew my teaching lisence and will be there 8-2 mon-fri. So... i will take lots of walks without our double stroller next week and rest up after i get the infant carrier strapped in the yukon, the bag for the hospital packed for both me and Molly and maybe i can even find time to make some little hairbows..i want to know how to make some anyone know of a good pattern?...well ladies and gentlemen (if there are any gentlemen that read this) Ready or not...she is coming! We can't wait to meet you Baby Molly!

Tommorow..

2011-07-06T17:28:00.000-07:00

I go to the doctor in the morning. I'm 37 weeks..whoa!! I don't feel like i am I am still not quite ready for this yet..they check to see if ive dilated... The boys are supposed to go to my parents for the week while I attend a seminar at TWC to renew my teaching license..so part of me is hoping that im not dilated, but I'm trusting that if i am that is a way of God closing the door for me to teach for a while until another close to home opportunity arises. This seminar is to add the pre-k endorsement to my certificate and i am actually pretty excited about what i will learn as a mom of two little preschoolers about to be three...I will keep you posted...

Happy Anniversary! I love you BEN

2011-06-24T11:16:00.001-07:00

its bad i know...

2011-06-24T10:30:00.000-07:00

...When i STILL haven't posted pictures of our vacation! I put them on facebook though so maybe you'll forgive me! They are only on one computer and i have to upload them individually and it takes FOREVER!

Sooo..its a wordy, picture-less blog today. Im sorry.

I have had a 7 year anniversary and a 28 year birthday since i posted so i am feeling a little old and behind. We didn't really celebrate either...we had just gotten back from a weekend away with the kids at the Wilderness Resort in Gatlinburg (via a last minute cancellation of Ben's mom's client) and Ben had been trying to catch up from the week before of being out of town for our week long vacation so were still catching back up and trying to find normal again. We HAVE made plans however for a one night get away to Nashville next weekend for our anniversary bc Ben has a shoot there. One morning of no one waking you before 7 am and not having to cook bfast and supper sounds like a treat! My super sweet friend Jennifer made sure i celebrated my birthday by treating me to a pedicure (which is ALWAYS nice but especially when you're pregnant!)

Everyone keeps asking me how i'm "handling the heat" and truth is im loving it! I HATE to be cold and i LOVE the summer! We have been out to Ben's dad's pool a bit with the boys and Knox is swimming without me holding him (with a vest and float though of coarse) Brennan would still rather paddle around on the steps.. We take walks early in the morning or right before bed. I think i walked to the library for the last time this pregnancy though. We went on MOnday and between the heat and pushing 60+ pounds up a hill in the double stroller i decided i didn't really need or want to go into labor early..but if i get ready in a couple of weeks i bet that would do it..that or a trip to Walmart with them alone! (Lord help me!) Seriously i am very blessed by God to have calm pregancies and remain healthy and have energy to the end..

I return Thursday for them to measure and may have an ultrasound. They are not sure if she is growing enough or properly due to me measuring to much smaller and i've even lost weight this week which is odd for this stage, but i am eating and trusting God..

Our boys have been so SO enjoyable lately. I even caught myself almost worrying about it the other day..why are things going SO well? Then we had yesterday.. an almost total bad day. A trip to Target, Walmart, Hobby LObby, and TJMAX all in 2 hours. In and out with two boys alone, but we did it in the morning, before they were tired and hungry, and we only went in and got the things we needed and of course ran to every potty in the store..Knox had an accident in Target and in Hobby Lobby decided to hide my wallet in the ribbon section..which i didn't realize until we were in the drive through trying to get starving Brennan a burger...yes we were all about to cry!

But alas we made it home and survived another rainy day today. We run out and play in between showers and i will have to post some of the pics from them splashing in puddles! its too cute!

Now we await our little Molly's arrival in 4-5 weeks! WHOA! WHOAAAAAOOOO!!!! Yea. it still isn't real. Any words of wisdom mommies of 3 three and under..hello are you there? no you aren't. you are BUSY. thats right.. yeah..pray. a lot. i do. I WILL..thank you! (Yes that was an imaginary conversation with me and a mom who may have done this before)...

"Leaning, Leaning Leaning on the Everlasting Arms, Safe and Secure from all alarm, Leaning Leaning, leaning on the EVERlasting Arms"...

the trip down...

2011-06-08T18:43:00.000-07:00

We found a little old fashioned pit stop complete with homemade from a rock salt ice cream freezer ice cream. A perfect place to wake up to after their (very) short nap..Brennan is on a little play ground area they had beside the store..
The driver of the troops...
Brennan watching a movie on the i phone..
Knox playing a matching game on the i pad...

Brennan's 3rd Birthday

2011-06-08T18:32:00.000-07:00

We grilled hamburgers and hot dogs and had chips and cupcakes..
and ate picnic style
he got a new scooter from grandaddy..
and LOTS of train stuff

I LOVE this picture..Brennan looked up at his friend Isaac and said "you're my favorite Isaac in the whole wide world"!!! My super sweet little man!!! Happy birthday..in some ways i cannot believe you are three in some ways you feel so much older and wiser..LOVE YOU..

Motherhood today..

2011-06-07T18:58:00.001-07:00

Baby Molly is growing… I am 32 weeks. SUPER hard to believe. We still have to convert her bed back to an infant bed from the toddler version it was in for Knox. I have a shower coming up next week, after that I will be able to determine real needs for her nursery.

My friend Alyson and I have done a clothes swap. I gave her all my boy clothes and infant gear she gave me all her girl clothes and gear. She is due I think a month or two after me. She has a precious little red-headed girl named Capri and is expecting a little boy. It was so fun. I handed her a blue Bumbo, she handed me a lavendar one. I handed her a blue and yellow bouncy seat, she handed me a pink and brown one…I have to admit I like her style. There were lavenders, browns, greens, yellows, lots of polka dots and it wasn’t all pastel pink with flowers. That stuff just isn’t as fun to me…

I am working on the nursery. I found a super great deal on some lettering today for $5 a piece. I will show you asap.

I get this way everytime I get near 30 weeks. Its this compelling, overpowering, pressuring, passion to CLEAN. Like vacuum under beds and tops of closets, dust ceiling fan blades, wash everything washable. I find myself cleaning the floors endlessly wondering silently if this will be the ‘last good mopping’ the floors get before the baby comes home. I did it with Brennan but it has progressively gotten worse each pregnancy. I’ve read about those who fold and refold the layette but really?

Here are some examples of stuff I have done this week:

vacuum under our bed and behind furniture in our room

clean out all closets and organize shoes and clothes on shelves in our closets

scrub the shower with bleach and a toothbrush

vacuum the blinds

wash the couch cover

rearrange and reorganize the playroom

clean out/organize the laundry cabinets

sort through a ton of stuff to give my mom to ‘yard sale’ at her booth

Add that to cleaning up pee constantly it seems our boys have had trouble ‘ringing’ the toilet this week and my sensitive nose is going NUTS about that smell..Why DOES boy pee smell worse? Seriously?! Plus Knox has about 2-3 accidents a week still.

I am one TIRED mama! But right now my feet are propped up on two pillows, my hair is wet and my tummy smells delicious from the pomegranate anti-stretch lotion. My hubs is at Camp all week teaching. Knox keeps asking-this is the first time he has been gone this long since Knox was able to remember to ask for him, plus he is a HUGE daddy’s boy.

I started a ‘letters to my children’ journal this week.

I find myself wondering what Molly will look like. Brennan looks like me, but with Ben’s skin and eye color. Knox looks like Ben, but with my skin and eye color. Brennan’s personality is sweet, passionate and structured. Although he requires a lot of play his energy is not the same as Knox’s. Knox’s personality is silly, compelling and a little on the wild side. He is on a higher speed than most. His favorite word right now is “WWHHYYYYYY” He draws it out so long its hilarious. He says it to everything. That and “Otay”. Brennan’s favorite saying right now is “I’m just ________ okay ________?” Like Im just going to fix this light switch with my tools, okay mommy? or Im just going to take this tractor over here knox okay?

Sometimes it seems like my favorite saying is “I’m about to get the spanking spoon”. I told Ben the other day that I think if our kids could draw a picture of me that I would be holding that spoon…

SO there is a LONG family update..hope all of you are well...

Tallassee

2011-05-30T18:16:00.000-07:00

I took a trip to Tallassee for my 10 year class reunion..we squeezed a lot in..that trip to the zoo, this picnic, a Cinco de Mayo celebration with Katherine and her fam, the reunion and soem tractor time..Our Mother's day picnic for Nana..i don't know where Charlie is...

Playing in the dirt, watchin Papa work..they had both had multiple turns don't worry

Knox checking out the water..
My little happy man

Me and Katherine..my bff from high school..our reunion before the Reunion..out at her parents new house that backs up to the river in Tallassee.
Off with the pants and into the water Brennan goes..

i have TONSSSSS of pics coming your way but for now..

2011-05-30T17:42:00.000-07:00

You might be a STAY AT HOME MOM if:

1. The closest thing you've gotten to a facial is opening the dishwasher before the load was complete

2. You have ever wiped a nose with the clothing you are wearing

3. Its after 12 noon and you realize you still haven't put on a bra

4. You spend more time studying the fridge and cabinets to make a grocery list than any other subject

5. If you get up and put on clothes that couldn' t double as pjs or workout clothes your kids ask where 'we are going'

6. You've ever snuck dessert while they were napping so that you didn't have to share your favorite ice cream

7. Adult conversation is what happens when the kids are asleep

8. If you've ever locked yourself in the bathroom to have a phone conversation

9. The last 'trip to the mountains' happened when you walked into your laundry room

10. You didn't know the world was supposed to end last Saturday because you only watch pbs kids

THE REAL ZOO!!!

2011-05-14T18:36:00.000-07:00

My mom wanted to take Brennan to the Montgomery Zoo for his brithday. He LOVES trains and animals so what a combo huh? HE LOVED it!!! It was fun for all!

Our ride on the train..
Hopey and her kiddos..
The little red engine..
Brennan and Anna Beth checking out the giraffes..
Knoxie and Nana looking for monkeys..
Knox and Brennan looking for elephants
Can you see the tiger out in the distance?

Trip to Scottsboro

2011-05-14T18:26:00.000-07:00

We took a trip to meet my parents. Growing up in Scottsboro was a such fun and i have a ton of memories with the Rhodes family. Really most all my childhood memories include that sweet family that has continued to be family for me despite the fact i have been gone from there for 16 years..

We met here and had a small easter egg hunt and played with Ann's kids Ellie, Luke and Andrew..it was great to be around that family!

The back porch made a great place for feeling like home
Brennan has asked a couple of times lately to go back to Mrs. "Liz-beth's"
Knox only stopped long enough to show me his egg..

Easter pIcs

2011-05-14T18:04:00.000-07:00

Brennan and Knox at our church easter outreach egg hunt...we got a great door prize for a free appetizer at Bonefish grill!

As many mommies know Sunday is not an easy day ot get everyone dressed and out the door..i managed to not get one single picture of the boys in their cute outfits. They wore plaid shorts and polos..thats about as fancy as it gets around here!

We spontaneously decided to go tot Ben's moms after church and she spontaneously was given the afternoon off of work. So i did not have a change of clothes for them..they played in their polo shirts near the creek behind her house..

And after a couple of rounds of golf and ping pong you could guess what came next with hot weather and boys near a creek..they wanted to get in..the water was FREEZING! But they loved it..it came to about Ben's mid calf and had pebbles and shells-quiet clear for a creek.

mommy days

2011-04-29T09:29:00.000-07:00

"What to have for lunch?', not a question today

for once again we will have cheese its and pb&j

There are chores to be done just to do them again

there are sheets to be washed, but where to begin?

For that one will nap soon and they'll still be wet

and not long after so will this one, i bet

I can tell by the sound of the whines and the cries

'not that kind, no this one', 'please honey just try'...

Says a mommy as tired as the child that she hears

her eye ever watchful as nap time soon nears.

For she wants to crash, but when will she shower?

or mop floors, make calls? And then there's the dryer.

Ever full to the brim of clothes that need folded

and then there's the grocery for this bread is molded..

And what of the milk- is it all gone again?

What was that sound i heard in the den?

The glass -broken pieces all over the floor

bare little feet and milk galore.

Why did i give him that glass that could break-that could shatter

o thats right all the others are dirty and what was that clatter?

The mop? Mommy's got it- no honey just towels. Milk will just sour.

Well i do need a new one-i'll add that to the list in about an hour.

But first, where'd baby # 1 go?

Do i hear the tv?- thats not a PBS show...

Off with the soap opera, off of my bed

where are your underwear?-not on your head.

Get off of there son or soon you will fall

thats not what that band aid was for at all.

Its not just a sticker, don't waste them please child

O for a day that wasn't half this wild!

I know they will come soon enough i hear

they grow up so fast and you'll miss every tear...

They years go so fast and the days so slow

only a mother who's done it will know.

So now for that nap isn't it about time

for i've spent all my energy...spent every dime!

no wipes

2011-04-24T18:28:00.000-07:00

I HAVE to share this story especially since so many have commented on potty stuff...after church to day we decided last minute to go to Ben's moms which i 30 minutes from our church (1 1/2hrs from our house)...We had a blast..on the way home from her house around 6:30, we stopped to get take out pizza and ate it outside on a blanket in a grassy area near the not-eat-in-pizza place. Just after i finished my last bite (if it wasn't before this is certainly was later)Knox said 'potty'. We knew we had a drive so we had put him in a pull up to keep the car seat safe..so i wasn't panicking ...The area we were in a was newly developing and near a pond..no potties anywhere near..no worries, glad he's a boy i thought he could just go in the grass..Well pee indeed but also POOP!

Yes grunting and red faced he squats in the grass..! What do you do? You can't flush ...gross! I told Ben to grab the wipes from the car, forgetting that i had taken them out and left them in the other car 2 days before. NO WIPES! Poor baby i had to use dry Wendy's napkins that were in the glove compartment!

Then...i cleaned him up and got some anti bacterial that i DID still have. We buckled in and headed for the rest of the drive home..not too long after that maybe 10 minutes or so he said "poop"..again still in a pull up so not panicking too much as we started looking for an exit..he kept saying it and was drawing up his legs his eyes were tearing up...I gave Ben the word and he pulled off on the side of the interstate. We get him out pull down his pants and knowing he CAN poop in the grass we figure that is better than a stinky messy pull up right? Soo, our son poops..and then accidentally takes a step backwards into the poop (ever tried to poop standing up-especially at the beginning stages of potty control??!!) Meanwhile Brennan begins to shout " i need to poop too!!" from the backseat..

Ben gets him out and so here we stand on the side of the interstate..no exit for miles with two kids -pants down- pooping on the grass and NO WIPES!!! Poop all over Knox shoe, pee on his shorts from trying not to get the poop on the back (he was positioned in such a way the pee got on the front)... as much as possible we clean them both up, more anti bacterial...buckle back in and then I had to poop or puke or something i was so grossed out...!

The boys began to sing and dance and laugh and were cheesing to the 100th % the rest of the way home. Maybe it was good comical relief for them to watch Ben and i standing there with semi's and SUVs full of families zooming past laughing hysterically at the whole situation...laughing to the point of tears and wetting your pants...

Yes. A day with no wipes just may be good medicine for the heart...! I SOOOOO wanted Ben to whip out his mac camera and get some shots but for the sake of your stomach we didn't..Aren't you glad i spared you those details?

a day in our life:

2011-04-21T17:23:00.000-07:00

I am planning a post where i take pictures of what is happening every hour at our house..like at 6:55 am all the way till 7:55 pm...coming soon..

BUT...til then i will give you a word overview of today:

It started at 5:30 with Knox. (You may have seen the fb post). He called "mommy"...i didn't go in..."daddy" he didn't go in..."anybody"..hahahah. Ben & i where laughing for a while over that..then after about an hour of that he finally quieted down and we got to sleep til 7am when Brennan came and jumped in our bed. We got up and Ben got on the treadmill and i started breakfast. Brennan helped me make pancakes and cook bacon. Knox woke up at 7:55. We ate and i cleaned up b'fast, packed lunches and backpacks for Mothers Day Out.

I chased the boys around to clothe them, and placed some clothes in the dryer. I sat down to fold an awaiting basket from yesterday that i was too tired to fold at bedtime and got the boys playing with toys in the playroom.

Not too much later Knox said potty and we ran and i heard the dryer timer buzz..2 little feet run to the laundry room, the dryer door open...close...and the sound of the laundry basket scooting across the floor. Brennan had taken an empty basket, pulled out all the warm clothes and brought them to me! WOOO HOOOOO!!!!!!

Meanwhile Knox is asking me to ing the potty song and dance bc he has deposited his goods..so i do and give Brennan a SUPER BIG hug for being such a great helper! We fold(& refold) clothes til grandaddy get here to pick up the boys for "school". Ben's dad picks them up every Thursday (along with their cousins Hunter-4 and Chase-3) and takes them 2 blocks over to Trinity Tots where these amazing, certified, hymn-singing women care for them from 10am-3pm.

The troops are off and i put on my jogging (walking now) shoes and head down the street for a quick one. Upon arriving home to stretch and grab a quick shower before my haircut appointment i find some dear ladies inviting me to their church..turns out they new Ben and there goes my shower and errands before haircut..

The lady before me at the salon was 30 minutes late so Nancy was running behind, it gave me time to catch up with our dear friend Whitney who had been so faithful to serve our family and watch our boys..

I was there for 2 hours..!

I got home..showered, and read my bible. I listened to a GREAT song that was new to me by Hllsong "Still" check it out here.

Picked up the boys, returned something at Walmart & went to Captain D's because online it said that kids eat free and Ben had a photo shoot form 3 til 9pm..Well OUR Captain D's is not part of the franchise and boo i already had two little hungry boys out of their carseats, had waited our turn in line and they were drooling over pictures of corn on the cob..so we stayed and paid $11 for a meal i was hoping we would be eating for less than #5, but oh well...

We returned home played outside and entertained our neighbor Phil, until Knox had to potty..which btw let me brag on him..today was his first day to go to MDO in underwear..his teachers said he was dry all day! We went to the grocery on Tuesday with him in undies and i am sos so sososo thankful! We are not accident free, but...

Anyway bedtime came at last and they are asleep praise the LORD!!!!

Humility

2011-04-19T09:40:00.000-07:00

⁶Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, ⁷ casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. ⁸ Be sober-minded;be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.⁹Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. ¹⁰And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. ¹¹ To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.

1 Peter 5:6-11

When i am experiencing anxiety the root issue is that i am trying to be self sufficient acting independent of God..all the cares coming my way are actually provided by God specifically for the purpose of cultivating humility in my life ...God wants me to learn to depend on Him to NEED HIM and in the end to give glory to Him with an ever deepening appreciation for the mighty hand of God...

pg. 75/77 Humility

"You are good and DO good...Psalm 119:68

Encouragement

2011-04-17T11:37:00.000-07:00

“Encouaragement is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it.”

I am so thankful for God's love for me. Ben and i have been rather discouraged lately. All of us can go through hard seasons-aware that they are indeed 'seasons' and will not last forever but that doesn't make the hard go away. I know that it is BECAUSE of His love not LACk of love that God has gives 'hard times'. He loves us too much to let us stay the same-He is 'disarming us of all that we depend on til we depend on him' . It is through suffering that we, just like Christ, learn obedience

Hbr 5:8

Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered

It is for my sanctification that God takes us through all things and it is from His hand that we experience gracious moments of precious joy like:

1. Knox's hugs and snuggles each morning with his 'Hi honey' greeting as he toddles into our room..

2. Brennan's care for me if i get hurt "Here you go Mommy, this will make you feel better"...

3. Ben's convincing words to enjoy myself and take a day to ramble..

4.Hearing Brennan sing 'Jesus Jesus Jesus' to go to sleep..

5.Faithful words from a friend that God is 'after my heart' reminding me of the love pursuit that first drew me to Christ in college..

I was reminded this weekend of what a sweet life God has given me. Made freshly aware of His faithfulness and kind pursuit of my heart. I have looked back on a very charmed life and i am so very thankful for the life God has given me. I am not always thankful, joyful, and aware of God's love. I am posting one picture in particular that i am sure i was not thinking thankful thoughts, but a good God has shown me the 'markers' on His kitchen door of my growth this year and that helps. So here are a few glimpses of life at our house:

His 'person' he made is all by himself-tape and all..

Our little 'cheeser' Knox

Making homemade granola-that got big compliments from Mr. Mayfield...how cool if it makes it into the farmers market?!
laundry...
Knox cleaning up the leftovers..
My friend Ann mailed me my maternity clothes that we had been sharing and knox wanted to put this on..it fit just like a dress!

My pants-less wonder boy..i PROMISE he had pants on when he went outside!

YOu can't see the clock but its before 6:30

DRESS UP

2011-04-14T11:32:00.000-07:00

Lately the boys have been REALLY into dress up..Knox more i am sure because of his brother's interest..but Brennan has been a different character everday!

GRRR...Little lions...

Herioc Firefighter...

....and mischevious necklace wearing little boy...

Cowboys...yes Knox has on Christmas pjs...he uncovers himslef in his sleep..we have to dress him like its winteror else he wakes up with freezing cold little toes..

Quiver and Birth Control

2011-04-10T18:54:00.001-07:00

So beginning now-here are some excerpts from what i read in regards to the 'quiver' post:

In response, it can be pointed out that the Scriptures also say that a wife is a gift from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22), but that doesn't mean that it is wrong to stay single (1 Corinthians 7:8). Just because something is a gift from the Lord does not mean that it is wrong to be a steward of when or whether you will come into possession of it. It is wrong to reason that since A is good and a gift from the Lord, then we must pursue as much of A as possible. God has made this a world in which tradeoffs have to be made and we cannot do everything to the fullest extent. For kingdom purposes, it might be wise not to get married. And for kingdom purposes, it might be wise to regulate the size of one's family and to regulate when the new additions to the family will likely arrive. As Wayne Grudem has said, "it is okay to place less emphasis on some good activities in order to focus on other good activities."..... .....The "trust God, therefore don't use birth control" thinking is based upon the incorrect assumption that what happens "naturally" reflects "God's best" for our lives, but that what happens through human means does not. Why should we conclude that the way to let God decide the size of our family is to get out of the way and just let nature take its course? We certainly don't think that way in other areas of life. We don't reason, for example, that we should never get haircuts so that "God can decide" the length of our hair. Farmers don't just let the wind plant their crops in the fear that actively regulating what is grown on their land somehow interferes with the provision God wants to give them. And a family doesn't just trust God to provide food for by waiting for it to drop from the sky, but instead goes to the store to buys it. God ultimately determines everything that will happen, both in nature and in human decisions, and He brings His will to pass through means. Human activity does not therefore interfere with his plans, but is instead itself governed by Him as the means to bring to pass His will. Hence, we should not conclude that what happens apart from our planning is "better" and more reflective of God's desires for us than what happens through our planning. God very often causes us to plan as the means towards improving our lives and advancing His kingdom purposes..... .
...Further, God has revealed that it is His will for us to regulate and direct creation for His glory (Genesis 1:28). God has given us the privilege of being able to make significant life decisions because this exercises wisdom and thus shows the fruit that His word is bearing in our lives. When we rightly use the godly wisdom God has given us, God is glorified. He doesn't want us to simply think we have to take what comes naturally, apart from our efforts, because then our sanctified wisdom is not expressed. In fact, very often it is God's will that we not simply let things move along naturally. Going back to the analogy mentioned above, farmers don't simply collect whatever grain happens to grow in their fields, concluding "this is what God wants to provide." Rather, they go out and plant grain, realizing that God wants to provide not only through nature, but also through the means they employ to steward nature. ...And one might be able to minister more effectively for the kingdom by deciding to have 4 children instead of 15, so that more resources can be given to the cause of missions and more time can be devoted to other areas. If such planning is done for God's glory and in wisdom, and if such planning continues to acknowledge that our plans are not perfect and that birth control does not absolutely ensure anything, it is pleasing to God. for more read the entire article at: http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/articles/does-the-bible-permit-birth-control

BLOGGING.....

2011-04-10T17:49:00.000-07:00

I desire to always give God glory than my problems or circumstances. My desire is that whatever God is walking me through may in some way encourage others. On this blog i don't always filter things super carefully. I need to be more careful about my words on here and in person. God's Word says we are to have fellowship, community, and encourage one another...to weep with those who weep and laugh with those who laugh. This blog has been my effort in that direction- to ask for words of wisdom, for words of grace, for others to say 'i have been there too, here is how God has been faithful' and to do the same for others....
I have considered disabling comments on here-not because i don't want to hear from you-for that is exactly what i want, but facial expressions, tones and love can be hard to discern through black and white typed letters. I will most likely stop commenting on others blogs-and calling or getting together instead-especially if i sense the need for encouragement.
I will begin to post more scripture, less words from Joy, more words of wiser people that can instruct us from authors i am reading, more pictures about our boys less of the drama i am experiencing...
If you want to know how i am doing emotionally, spiritually and physically and can't seem to discern it on here-please call or email or send a message.
I am so thankful for the smaller world that the internet can create for this 21st century mom-i see it as blessing in my life...but there is no trade for the real thing..thank you faithful kind friends for the calls and emails that you have sent after reading.

The Rain

2011-04-04T09:44:00.000-07:00

The scriptures in the previous post are running over and over through my head.

It has rained a lot here this year. I read the annual weather summary from this past year and it stated that we had a 'colder, snowier winter that lasted well into February' and 1/10 of rainfall would occur in the month of March'..they were correct!

As many researchers have concluded weather effects the mood. I have growled to myself everytime i walked outside for at least four months! BUT do you know what the weather is like MOST days in Athens TN? '60-80 and partly to mostly sunny'...only one third of the year is it wet and cold..the other 2/3 are mostly pleasant! But isn't it like us to complain?!

I wanted to combine the thoughts of the quiver post with thoughts on suffering. I have 3 friends with 7 or more children. I was a nanny (and consequently a mentee) of a lady who has nine. I never cease to be amazed at what these women do to the glory of God. "whatever you do, in word or in deed...whether you eat or drink..do it ALL to the glory of God"...they change diapers and nurse for up to 14 years of their lives!!! DAILY. They are taking up their cross for the sake of Christ. No, they are not in a 3rd world country living in tents, sharing God's story, BUT they are living less than glamorous lives-in smaller budgeted houses, with less than glamorous nails, hair and wardrobe in a world that prizes those very things. Their vacations and eating out are less often than the family of 2...and hand me downs are welcomed by all. BUT none of the moms, dads, or (older) siblings that i have spoken of would change a thing bc of wht God has taught them in the process. There is a lady at our church with 2 boys and a girl who has a severe birth defect, i have a friend with two girls 15 months apart and a little 18 month old with downs-3 children under 3! These women have learned God in ways many will never know Him.

My own story is similar. Though i have not known the depths of toughness as the above mentioned women, i have 'suffered' in my limited opinion with our boys being so close and our budget so tight. BUT GOD HAS BEEN MORE THAN FAITHFUL and my suffering is but a scratch on the surface of what God has in store for me. ALL of us who have undergone any degree of suffering and have allowed God to teach us during that time are greater for it. Our hearts bound closer to His through it, our faith increased, our love deeper, our compassion greater!

Without so MANY days of cold and rain, what would i care (or even notice) of the sunshine? WOuld i walk about relishing and drinking in every moment of each ray, each song of the robin more precious, each rise in the temp reason for praise?

Its the same with the suffering...were it not for those days without the suffering, would not our appreciation grow weaker for the good?

OH but that our appetite for the suffering were the same! If we taste the sweetness of God so deliciously in the suffering why do we not say "Bring on the RAIN"?

Thank you Jen also for your post on your blog that is so great on this topic!

Suffering

2011-04-01T09:46:00.000-07:00

But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. ²¹For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. 1 Peter 2:20-21

And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him,"You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me." Mark 10:21

But it shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, ⁴⁴and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. ⁴⁵For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Mark 10:43-45

But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. ⁸Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ ⁹and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— ¹⁰ that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death Philipians 3:7-10

So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple. Luke 14:33

The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. Matthew 13:44

The goals of american christianity are often a nice marriage, children who don't swear and good church attendance..Taking the words of Christ literally is rarely considered..most of us want a balanced life that we can control that is safe and that does not involve suffering...page 68 Crazy Love

Is my treasure Christ? Am i willing to say i want to KNOW CHRIST through sufferfing? Why not? Is my comfort a greater treasure than my Savior? What does taking the words of Christ seriously look like in my life?

I may just share my answers tomorrow...

NAPTIME

2011-03-29T10:23:00.000-07:00

REALLY. I am desperate for suggestions. Knox can get out of anything you put him in. He fell after trying to get out of his baby crib. He had been getting out of it for several weeks, but had never fallen. It happened. And so we converted it to toddler bed and put up the rail. We figured it safer, yet still semi-containable.

We do not feel that it is best to put him in the twin bed in Brennan's room b/c brennan gets upset over knox getting lots of discipline and it does not allow him to get his sleep thus the night night process is quite lengthy for both-almost doubling.

I have also been having them sleep at the same time(so that i get a real break), letting Brennan play/read books while I'm getting Knox down. But the "getting Knox down" has turned into the 20-30 minute process of him getting up a bizillion times and me having to lay him back down. Meanwhile Brennan is quite the exhausted fella himself and doesn't always have the patience (or quietness) needed for this process-so he will come in the room, or cry loudly, or many other imaginable things.

Bottom line #1 Knox has got to learn to stay in his bed. #2 This tired pregnant mama is at her end emotionally and physically everyday at this point.

Ben was at a meeting today during this process and i cannot always count on his assistance-so i've got to learn to go it alone.

PLEASE tell me you have an idea that i haven't thought of!!!!!!!!!!

(Yes, Knox can get out of a pack in play-he turns it over with him...)

Lord help you Molly Claire. Please be laid back!

A Quiver

2011-03-27T18:04:00.000-07:00

There are things that the bible is very clear on and then there are some things that (i believe show God is gracious) that He is not as clear on. For example we know that we are to train our children in the way they should go and that we should talk about the law as we walk and sit and live [Prov 22:6 Deut 6:6-9]. It tells us that wine is a mocker and beer a brawler he who is led astray by them is not wise[Prov 20]. It tells us that self control is a fruit of the spirit and the mind that is steadfast on God is kept in perfect peace [Gal 5 Isaiah 26:3]...BUT it does not say what training that child looks like [i.e. homeschooling, discipline, etc] it does not say all moderate use alcohol is bad, it does not say what self control and a peaceful mind looks like. These are things that we pray about, that we use discretion and that ultimately God has to show us individually. Not that i believe there are not universally applicable passages of scripture that are very clear, but i am aware that somethings are just difficult to discern. So I want to jsut throw out a couple and i REALLY want to hear back from readers on this.

Please know that i am limited in to how much i "get out" and hear opinions that are differing. I have lived a life surrounded mostly of people who are like minded. A lot of you may fall into that category of like minded, but maybe you have heard different thoughts of others. So here is question #1.

THE BIBLE SAYS CHILDREN ARE A BLESSING and a GIFT FROM THE LORD Psalm 127:3-5

and BLESSED IS THE MAN WHOSE QUIVER IS FULL...

So how is a person to know how many arrows they should have in their quiver?

[Quiver: a device for archers used for holding arrows] read all of Psalm 127 for more detail..

Interesting note: How many arrows are in a quiver?

"as many as it can hold! There are a wide variety of quiver and arrow types. Most modern hunting quivers hold somewhere around five. Most medieval quivers were sized to hold between ten and fifteen, with an even dozen being the number most commonly alluded to in literature. Personally I have never seen one designed to be carried by a foot archer that would hold more than twenty. It would, of course, be possible to do so, but arrows tend to bulk up quickly, so the practicality is questionable." Read more: http://wiki.answers.com

...

2011-03-24T09:45:00.000-07:00

thank you girltalk blog for this link! i have read several friends blogs lately that speak of being overwhelmed...this link has a great message for our souls!

overwhelmed in a different way

2011-03-23T14:19:00.000-07:00

So i met my mom in Gadsden and the boys were so excited! I got back in the car and DELIGHTED not to be referee-ing/driving or singing dancing to kiddie tunes/driving, i grabbed my cd case and looked through it. i came to one of my faves Lauren McCuistion's "Better". I posted about a year ago about one song and its ministry to my heart. There were so many songs that seemed to sing my heart's song in that moment i want to share a couple of lines with some of them with you:

DEAR JOY: (yes that is the name of the song. its written like a letter to the action of JOY, not me)
dear joy where can i find you
are you even around anymore
or did you die many years ago
when circumstances overpowered you

BETTER:
"God You know my heart. I've laid it down before You.
Lord, You know my deep desires, how I only want to honor You.
and I know that You've got the desire of my heart and You've got it set apart

YOU KNOW THE BETTER THING, & I'VE SIMPLY GOTTA TRUST
THAT IF YOU CHOOSE NOT TO GIVE ME WHAT I WANT-
YOU'LL GIVE ME SOMETHING BETTER
BETTER IS YOUR PLAN FOR ME
BETTER IS YOUR PERFECT TIMING
BETTER IT IS WHEN I LOOK THROUGH YOUR EYES"

SUN TO RISE:
shameful this is how i feel
when no one wants to emphathize that they have been here too
that sometimes i don't feel like lifting up my hands
and sometimes if too tired to join in this dance

Im waiting for the sun to rise again
i've got my ear up to door where you aren't knocking
and all i've strength to do is run my fingers through my hair
and wait for the sun to shine again and stay there

please tell me is it something Lord that i m doing
or something that i have failed to do
but if you don't feel like i need this answer
at least could you hold me through the night
as we wait for the sun to rise?

ASKING:
is it wrong to feel confused at what your doing
to ponder and muse what it is that this could prove
is it suitable to inquire of you about how your moving in me
is it wrong to feel insecure about how your moving

im worn out from trying to be my own rescue
im asking for the palm of Your hand to encompass me

there is freedom in admitting to myself what you already know

Ya'll i wept. Overwhelmed by God's abundant care and love for me! I remembered how in bible study we had talked about the COMMAND to always rejoice no matter our circumstances. I have learned from previous things in my life that God's ways truly ARE better. That its better to look at things through HIS eyes. The words to 'SUN TO RISE' and 'ASKING' got me. I pondered the 'worn out from trying to be my own rescue'. I talked with a friend on the drive after listening and pondering these sweet words.

We marveled at how we start each day in self sufficency and end it totally spent going 'i can't do this'..why don't we instead start each day with 'i can't do this' laying our requests and weaknesses before HIM then watch God give us that peace that passes understanding-for HIM to guard us from ourselves and our sin in reaction to circumstances or others?!

We are living daily in our strength, wondering why we are so overwhelmed.

Ben, not accidentally is preparing a sermon for his 'are you called' class on Phil 4. It has this GREAT quote in it:

"Here we have a most beautiful sentiment, from which we learn, that the ignorance of the providence of God is the cause of all impatience, and it is the reason why we are so quickly and on trivial accounts, thrown into confusion and become disheartened: because we do not recognize the fact that the LORD cares for us...We learn, that this is the ONLY remedy for tranquilizing our minds and souls-when we repose unreservedly in his providential care, knowing that we are not exposed to the rashness of fortune..the man that is in possession of this truth has what his soul may rest upon with security."

-John C.

I needed this extra time in the word, in prayer, in worship. Ben leaves at 5:45am. I will be relishing the presence of God, His word and time alone to be refreshed for this task and to be washed with the word letting it penetrate my soul... i am overwhelmed in a different way today. That God could love me enough to give me this time with Him-this getaway!

2011-03-23T13:34:00.000-07:00

On Monday, i awoke claiming the theme of not worrying about today. The boys and i took a long walk down to the park, threw some rocks in the pond there and ate lunch when we got back. I did not even make a plan for what to do over this break. I spent the 2 hours of their naps reading the following sermon and the accompanying scripture passages.

"The internal reactions to the pressures of the situations of life"
         1. Initial reaction leading up to a decision of action and reaction
              a. Initial reactions
                  (1) perplexity - II Cor. 4:8
                  (2) troubled - Jn. 12:27; 13:21
                  (3) distressed - Lk 12:50
              b. Decision of action and reaction

         2. Self-oriented decisions of action and reaction
              a. Mishandling of God's opportunities - Rom. 14:23
              b. Self-sufficiency
                  (1) I can resolve, explain, outlast, figure out (SELF)
                  (2) Change the circumstances
                  (3) Stoicism - survivalism, coping
                  (4) Fatalism - what will be, will be; "don't worry, be happy"
              c. Reactions
                  (1) Fight - [Ex. anger, hostility, rage, retaliation, bitterness, resentment,judgmentalism, blame, victimization]
                  (2) Fright - Ex. fear, anxiety, worry
                  (3) Flight - Ex. ignore, deny, retreat, avoidance, escapism, digression
         3. Consequences of self-oriented reactive decisions - Prov. 14:12
              a. Stress can lead to distress; dis-ease leads to disease
              b. Despair (II Cor. 4:8,9), desperation, depression.
              c. Hopelessness, helplessness, frantic, panic, hysteria
              d. Mental illness, nervous breakdown, psychosomatic
              e. Addiction, alcoholism, narcotics, medicines
              f. Self-destructive behaviors, suicide
         4. Reactive decisions of faith
              a. Faith - our receptivity of God's activity - Rom. 14:23
              b. Recognition of God's grace - II Cor. 3:5; 12:9
              c. Acceptance of the situation and provision - Lk. 22:42
              d. Rest in God's sufficiency - Matt. 11:28; Heb. 4:4-11
              e. Perseverance - Rom. 5:3; 12:12; James 1:12
              f. Endurance - I Cor. 4:12; II Tim. 4:5
              g. Rejoicing - James 1:2; I Peter 1:6
              h. Peace - Jn. 14:27; II Pet. 1:2
              i. Contentment - II Cor. 12:10; Phil. 4:11-13
              j. Filled with the Spirit - Eph. 5:18
              k. Abundant life - Jn. 10:10

The "reactive decisions of FAITH" wow!!!! That is where i want to be!!!

Yesterday morning (Tuesday) my mom called and suggested we meet half way and she would take care of the boys for a while and give me a break. I NEEDED THAT!!! I am so looking forward to some time alone with God!

overwhelmed & sharing rooms update

2011-03-20T18:12:00.000-07:00

We thought that it would be a good idea to start the boys sharing a room before our little girl arrives. we are now re-thinking that.

The loss of sleep and whiny-ness from the boys, the anger and frustration it has brought Ben and me, the wild-ness it has seemed to bring out in the boys at bed time..too much for this pregnant lady and overworked, under-payed hubs. so the verse in james "do not worry about tommorow for today has enough trouble of its own" is our theme right now.

The boys being sick, Knox not being two yet, Brennan not understanding why he must share the one thing he wasn't having to share yet (his room) all a little much for us right now.

The reason we began now was because Knox has learned how to crawl in and OUT of his crib, with the bars up, with the lights out, carrying his teddy. It really is a miracle that he hasn't fallen or that it hasn't happened earlier. He LOVES his big boy bed and gets SO excited about being in it that he doesn't want to sleep. He has successfully napped twice in his BB bed., with Brennan asleep in his BB bed beside him. We have attempted bedtime twice, but saw that it was a battle we are not ready for- so naps only so far. Brennan adjusted pretty well, however, the second night of them having shared the room for nap, at bedtime i had gotten Brennan through the potty, prayers, hugs and kiss stage and was about to walk out of the room when Knox started crying (after climbing out of the crib for time #4 or 5). Brennan said "mommy that hurts my feelings". I responded "what did?" and he said "when you leave to go make Knox obey." I realized at that point that this little man was feeling the time he had lost to mommy bc of brother for the last couple of days. We talked and hugged and prayed and he was fine (and Ben tended to Knox).

We seem to have hit a new intensity here at our house, and Ben is supposed to be out of town again this Wednesday-Saturday. I don't think i can do it alone, but i am honestly not thinking i want to put them in the car and travel 5 hours to my moms-even if help is there when i get there. Any suggestions?

I would LOVE a vacation. (Seriously, wouldn't we all?!) But a tiny bit of time away, to reflect, to think about this new baby coming, to pray about her being a end or big pause in our family numbers..to read my Bible, to pray, to rest..

We can all dream can't we?? :)

more..

2011-03-19T04:12:00.000-07:00

Ben was out of town week before last and returned with this YUMMy box of cupcakes!

My personal favorite chocolate mint with a girlscout thin mint on top!
The day we found out it was a girl my parents had this arrangement waiting for us when we returned! (Yes delivered!!)

I probably shouldn't be allowed to blog as tired as i was the other day when i posted about it being a girl and i don't want to sound ungrateful or expectant about my sweet sister in law or friends..we will clothe this baby...everyone has just seemed so excited about buying or handing down girl clothes, because if we admit it, all of us think they are more fun, right?! I mean boys are pretty standard, jeans, khakis, shorts, socks, button ups, polos and four pairs of shoes (church shoes for both seasons, tennis shoes and boots)..

I have been so past tired that the word doesn't even seem appropriate. I never took the boys to the doctor. With 8 confirmed cases in Knox's class i called the doctor, but didn't go in as to not contract another something or to pay for a lab test that says yes this is RSV. The doc said that there was really nothing he would do-there is no medicine for it, it just must run its course like any virus. If they worsened he suggested a humidifier and/or nebulizer. We have done both. They got a fever after day 5...the cough seems to be better today. When i went to register the boys for the summer mothers' day out i asked the teacher about who all had it and what they were doing about it. Apparently it can be caught up to 6 feet away, live on a surface for up to 90 minutes, if they cough, sneeze or snot on anything and then touch something else it will spread. It lasts up to 7 days and if a child was premature or has previous breathing problems it can be really bad.

Praise the Lord so far we are okay. Boys seem to be energized, just irritable and over it! The xopenex seemed to make them a little wild even though i only gave them a half a dose every other day.

Yesterday i was at my wits end between the sickness and the trying to teach how to share a room. i had not gotten my nap with them or gone to bed early the last few days so it took its toll.

My DEAR DEAR friend Whitney that babysits for us a lot came by with yellow daisies, a yellow onesie with pink daisies for our new baby and Thomas pjs for Brennan, Elmo pjs for Knox and she stayed so that i could get a shower for the first time all day (at 7pm) and put the boys in

the bath while i showered. did i mention that she brought a chocolate bar too?!!!!! Wow!!! I told her God must have sent her!!!!!

Rejoice in the Lord always i say thank you dear God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-03-16T11:20:00.000-07:00

Whoa!!! We are delighted that our new addition will not (hopefully) consume as many groceries as the little boys we have now...and refreshed by the possiblity of another future nurturing hand.. i must say that i had an inkling of the thought that is was highly probable..due to the small differences this pregnancy has brought.

I am quite tardy at such an important blog post, but it has been a zoo around here. 8/10 of the kids in Knox's mother's day out class have had RSV. Knox and Brennan have it and have been whiny and irritable for the last 4 days. They have wanted to be held more, been more easily upset, been more easily angered, feelings more sensitive etc..Therefore i have played referee a little more intensely, spent a little more time and effort towards there happiness and a lot less time on our home or resting myself. The time change and trying to teach them to sleep in the same room has made bedtime and naptime a little more of a challenge.

As far as names go we are considering Molly Claire. Clara was my grandmothers name, and Ben's mom's name on her birth certificate although she has always gone by Carol. We talked about Lucy Claire, Ruthie Claire and Olivia Kate, but after talking it over with Brennan MOLLY is the only name he likes.. :)

I was sort of bummed to have a friend i teach with tell me this was her little girls' name, but i am learning that my originality is not what matters.

This weather is so delightful and refreshing. Thinking of spring and a little girl in sundresses is quite a sweet thought to me.

We love her already and everyone we have talked names with seems to think a Molly would fit quite well into our family..

Her room will not be painted. It will stay the pale sage that it is..we will throw in some barely pinks and barely browns or khacki. I'm sure her aunts and all my friends with little girlies will be clothing her for the next 2 years, but Ben has said no nail polish or Barbies for a long time! Haa..I think she may be playing with dump trucks and screwdrivers if her brothers have anything to do with it..but at least she will have bow in her hair while she is working! :)

I am trying not to think to deeply on the differences of boys and girls YET...for the first year you are just a mommy to a baby and that always looks differently for each infant...but care is generally the same..feed, nurture, bathe, clothe, feed, hug, love, feed...hahah..Can you tell that i felt like i nursed the last 3 years of my life away?!

Any great words of encouragement or advice?

2011-03-12T16:30:00.000-08:00

The depths of Your grace who can measure
You fully supply all I need
You restore my weary soul again and again
And lead me in Your righteousness and peace

You’re with me through every dark valley
There’s nothing that I have to fear
You are there to comfort me again and again
Protecting me, assuring me You’re near

The Lord is
The Lord is my shepherd
The Lord is
The Lord is my shepherd
I shall not want

You gave Your own life for my ransom
So I could rejoice at Your side
You have shown Your faithfulness again and again
There’s nothing good that You will not provide

I will dwell in Your house
All the days of my life
I will dwell in Your house
All the days of my life

I wish i could enclose a link so that you could listen to this beautiful song, but there is not one avaliable.

You can go to Sovereign grace music and download it though.

This song was SUCH an encouragement to me today. Many of you may have heard the story of how God worked in

my heart my freshman year of college and the verse he gave me in Jereimiah 3: ¹⁴ “Return, faithless people,” declares the LORD, “for I am your husband. I will choose you—one from a town and two from a clan—and bring you to Zion.¹⁵ Then I will give you shepherds after my own heart, who will lead you with knowledge and understanding.

GOD is my shepherd, it is HE who is my husband, the One who leads me and guides me above all others. Verse one was so good for me as i have had a weary soul of late..be encouraged friends..HE FULLY SUPPLIES ALL OUR NEED!!!!!!!

LUCKY and UNLUCKY?

2011-03-08T16:56:00.000-08:00

Growing up we were taught to say that we were blessed instead of 'lucky'. I learned that at the root of 'luck' was a lack of trust in God being good and choosing to bless occasionally and that unlucky was God also being good and allowing bad things to happen that He alone knows how to work out for the good.

That being said...my Papaw would back up and drive back over the ground that a black cat had walked in front of his truck..and he taught me that broken mirrors and the number 13 were not good...

I have run across a streak of what i am blaming on pregnancy and two boys 2 and under. Last Friday i woke up ambitious. My sister was moving in her new beautiful house and Monday was my mom's birthday. I knew it would mean a lot to my family if i was there. So i loaded up two very excited (very unprepared) little boys and threw clothes and diapers in a bag. Knowing Ben would be out of town the 8-11 i debated going at all but decided i could come back Sunday and have 2 days with him before he left and off we went..5 hours down to T-town. I will make a long story shorter. My mom and i got supper together she loaded up the food and Hopes youngest. I loaded up my two since it looked like rain we drove instead of the short..walkable distance to her house. I told the boys to get in their seats, but that they did not have to buckle up. We got to the little house and i stopped bc i saw my sis there instead of where we were headed. I braked, rolled down the window and my sweet niece asked to ride with me..i said hop in. Well..Knox saw her running and stood up in his seat right as the door opened. He fell out of the car..my first thought..OH NO...GRAVEL and tiny head...bad combo..i jump out of the car...did i mention i had simply put on the brakes? I pick up Knox and the door knocks me down, i watch the back tire of our Honda roll over my leg and SUDDENLY realize the car is still going WITH BRENNAN IN IT..unbuckled...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I also watch as our car slides across the picket fence and mailbox and then my brother in law come to the rescue and jump in the car and park it, getting out my petrified 2 year old as i am in complete shock. SHOCK.

My leg is okay. Miraculously just badly bruised and sore. Knox is ok i think he was more upset about seeing drama for everyone than his scratched head. And Brennan...he is still asking 'why our silver car did that?' Its like he thought the car was being mean..he totally personified it as you can imagine..it was driving BY ITSELF with him in it..

Then today i got to the checkout at Walmart (a trip i rarely take bc of the hassle of a big store and no offer of an Ingles employee to help me get 2 boys and a heaping buggy of groceries to our car) but i had several copies of coupons and on things that are already cheaper there..so after scanning and bagging about 100 items and my coupons i go to pay to find NO WALLET in my purse. Yep none. Brennan had been playing in my purse (i was ok with it bc he was not screaming like Knox was) as i pushed through endless aisles of "Great Value". So i asked him. Nope he never saw it. Great. Did you remember that Ben was out of town this week? He couldn't just runover with his debit card. MIRACULOUSLY again..the cashier lets Ben tell her the credit card number over the phone and allows us to leave without too many strange unkind glances. Did i mention that Brennan tells me he has to potty right as i realize i have no money? And repeats it over and over the entire time i am trying to figure out how in the world i am going to pay for all these groceries.

I missed 3 calls while this fiasco was occuring from my sweet friend i was supposed to have a playdate with. I call her as i unload 2 kids and groceries into the car. After we pulled out of the parking lot almost to the first red light we heard a thump..it was my phone..it MIRACULOUSLY had fallen from the roof to the truck and was waiting there for me to find it.

Tonight while cooking dinner Knox began pulling on my pants..you know that drill if you are or have ever been a mom...My elastic pants are pretty loose as i haven't gained a lot so far and he pulled them all the way down. I had a sharp knife in my hand or they wouldn't have gotten so far..

After dinner i go to the playroom to separate a fight and find a puddle of pee surrounding the boys favorite building blocks..it was like he was trying to put out a fire with his 'hose'! Our house was a wreck and i wanted to just cry..2 more days of this and Ben will be back...i tell myself..This germaphobe was freaking out at all the disgusting things..Bailey (our dog) had potato soup dripping off her head from where Knox had not made it to his mouth successfully twice..Brennan was whining and crying for multiple reasons and me... well. there you go folks. my head is pounding. P O U N D I N G.

So good luck or bad-God was the One behind each miracle and providential amazing care amidst these crazy stories. He was the One blessing and allowing the bad and the good.

Smile. Sigh. BED....

2011-03-01T18:06:00.000-08:00

"Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our LOrd Jesus Christ through whom we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand and we exult in hope of the glory of God" Romans 5:1

In effort to have a walk AND Bible study last week, i borrowed my husband's bible memory cards (see his sidebar) and set off to a new walking park near our house. This is the verse i was memorizing/meditating over the past week. I am going to briefly share what i have learned/connected.

I once had a bible study teacher tell us always stop and see what the therefore is there for. To do that you have to go back up to chapter 4 which is talking about justification by works and Abraham's faith. So this verse tells us (and/or reminds us of Romans 3:28 'So we are made right with God through faith and not by obeying the law.) and that we have PEACE WITH GOD...

Lets stop there for a moment..not intending to ramble, but Ben and i recently watched the movie Amazing Grace about the life of John Newton, author of amazing grace. I have sang that hymn all my life. i even knew he wrote it, but what i didn't know was what a WRETCH he was. NOR DID I REALIZE WHAT I WRETCH I WAS!!!! I grew up in an amazing Christian family that i am SO thankful for. God began wroking in my heart for salvation as young as 5 years old. I felt conviction about sharing my faith in elementary school, i asked my parents in family devotions at 7 years old "why did God let Adam and Eve sin if He really is in control of everything?" I was devoted to ministry to friends, to purity and even to my bible as young as junior high. My life was moral on through high school and college. But my freshman year God took me through a series of events and books of the Bible (Isaiah & Jeremiah) to show me that i was indeed a SINNER in need of grace and that my acts of righteousness were not good enough. I NEEDED JESUS.

So after having spent time reading and meditating on the WRATH of God and how HOLY He is and how even one sin places me in need of His mercy, i better can be AMAZED at the fact that i actually have PEACE with a God who should be at war with me because of the sin in my heart..BUT JESUS has made even the possibility of peace with God available to me..wow.

And it is through HIM that we have obtained [gained access/ had made available to us] this GRACE in which we can now 'stand' [literally are 'set' made firm/established; to be placed immovable, steadfast].

And for the last part "...and we exult in hope of the glory of God" exult [rejoice/boast/glory in] the hope of [expectation of] of the glory [majesty,magnificence, excellence, preeminence, dignity, grace] of GOD. Meaning that we get excited about the expectation of seeing GOD in all His glory-for who He is..that when we worship of simply live our lives our hope is not in the small stuff, but the big--in seeing a big God.

I leave you with a quote from this past Sunday's message "those who look for God's providence-see it"..I look to see God's majesty, magnificence, excellence today and tomorrow-for i will surely see it!!!

Pregnancy update and the Oscars

2011-02-28T16:41:00.000-08:00

Well okay not the REAL oscars...we went to the Knoxville TN version of the Oscars on Saturday night...but let me back up a little. Friday morning i woke up feeling AWFUL...all i can say is that it felt like WORK to pull my head up off the pillow as the world spun and i felt like i was going to vomit all over the place i laid that head back down and Ben was superhero Dad. I don't even really know what all happened from 7ish to 10ish when i finally felt like i could stand long enough to shower and then i SERIOUSLY almost fell asleep in the shower...like caught myself nodding off! I ate two scrambled eggs and two pieces of whole wheat toast, drank OJ and a full 8 oz of H2O. I called the doc. She thought i had the beginning stages of the flu but i had no fever..after resting a couple of hours and drinking more i felt back to life. But may i say that one of my first thoughts after feeling so awful was 'Oh NO..the ADDY's!' Ben and i had paid for our table at the AAF regional ADDY awards banquet, had a sitter lined up (THANK YOU KAY AND MIKE SIMMONS!!!!) and its just one of those things that (like the Oscar nominees) you prepare mentally for weeks! Not to mention fret over your attire, your makeup and hair etc..I did not fret too much though, my 'getting ready' totaling 20 minutes of rolling hair, putting on makeup and pulling on a dress and hose. I litterally put one heal and earring on running out the door as Knox screaming at the top of his lungs...BUT Brennan was blowing us kisses and saying "see you later Mommy and Daddy-have fun" (that is a HUGE step that he just progressed to this month-as to a how to-we just always told him honestly where we were going and that we would be back..lately if he began to cry we would simply ask 'can you trust Mommy and Daddy? Don't we always come back to you?" and its like it clicked and he was like oh yeah..youdo!

ANYWAY..on the way i felt so sick like wooo i need to drink something. Ben stopped and got me a vitamin water. We got there early because Ben set up the door prize for the raffle-it was a free lifestyle session! Then it began..may i check your coat? you are to be seated at table 23. right this way. meet so and so and his wife and remember so and so and o nice to meet you one more time before we sat down for the event..salad-meet the MC..meal- more awards, talk with table-more awards and i promise you THEY KEPT CALLING BEN'S NAME!!!!!!! I was like babe that's you AGAIN! And it wasn't just the honorable mention or bronze..he won FOUR SILVER awards!!!!! That is off the charts for someone in their 2nd year at a business that they started themselves with "no official training"!!!

So WOW. This little SAHM had a night of celebrity! Super fun and i truly enjoyed meeting lots of new people and hearing their stories..SO interesting. Funny. The people we were seated beside were engaged..looked to be a year or more younger than us. When Ben mentioned i was pregnant they were congratulatory but when they found our we had 2 at home they were IN SHOCK..'you look so young' she said..as i asked her story she and her fiance both had done the undergrad, masters, have a 5-10 year career plan. They had lived together for a year, decided to marry and she was stressing over a very elaborate wedding plan. They may have lots more money in this life, but it made me so thankful for my riches of a faithful hubs and 3 beautiful children!

So back to the sickness thing..Saturday morning i texted my dr no fever still and feeling much better. She said that she thinks i dehydrated and that since my bloodwork came back anemic i was probably just dealing with those complicated symptoms. Guys i drink A LOT of water. Thats all i drink. Add in milk and/or OJ at bfast seriously i drink. I have a 24 oz camelback bottle that i drink 3-4 of a day or if its dirty i drink an 8 oz glass of water or 2 per meal and at least one in between meals. I eat whole grain toast, cereal or an omelet for bfast daily, a pb sandwich and veggies for lunch with some cheese or fruit. For dinner we only have 1 meatless meal per week. I eat well. I am eating the same or better than with the last 2 pregnancies and may i remind you they were not that long ago. Its not like I'm 10 years older than the last time i was pregnant or the first. That was just 2 years ago! And as far as busy- yes i now have 2 little ones, but with Brennan i was working 7:30-3, coaching cheerleaders either in practice or at 3 back to back games til 8pm, eating when i remembered to and jogging 1-3 miles 3-5 times a week. this was two years ago. with knox i was pushing brennan in a jogging stroller doing 1 mile jog-1 mile walks til i was about 7 months. i am 4 months. i am walking 1-2 miles 3 times a week and yes caring for our home and 2 little men..so what is the big difference? Not sure. Last week was not an overtaxing week. I only worked one day. i spent friday in the bed. I didn't even mop but one room. I didn't even clean the shower. You know? it was a lax week if anything..so why did my body quit on me..still unsure..ANY THOUGHTS??

Well super congrats my superhero, super-talented, super-husband!! i love you!

Random

2011-02-24T11:25:00.001-08:00

Here are some VERY random pictures from the last few weeks.. My parents came to keep the boys last weekend while we had a marriage conference. They served us so selflessly doing laundry and more..plus my dad had to be out of town the whole next week and had been a couple of days before but that 5 hour trip was worth it for us all!!

Does anyone here look happy?

These boys couldn't be happier. They waved goodbye and there was no wailing when we left!

They brought us twin beds for Brennan's room that they got at a Bed and Breakfast going out of business sale..Aren't they beautiful? My mom has an eye for antiques!

Today after a trip to the doctor to learn that Knox has ring worm but not pnemonia we left half thankful half disappointed with two prescriptions. We went by TJMAX and I found a GREAT deal for all of it under$80! That seemed so great because what we had picked out online was $300!!! Thank you GOD!!

I put them in their separate beds and heard giggling like two silly school girls in a moment. Knox had brought his pillow and blanket and he and Brennan were having a "shh ing" competition...

Here is Brennan after school last week (President's Day). this was their craft..we have been having to discipline him lately over not taking naps at Mother's day out. They say he lays their and sings all the songs on the lullaby tape, that he talks to all the other kids trying to sleep around him...this is a new problem..any suggestions?? (yes he is like his mother..)

Watching Curious George..

Brennan in action...LOVING his trampoline..yes and pants-less...as always

Knox makes me laugh. He always has to be doing something while he is taking care of business..We had a 1st time success yesterday in a resteraunt. He told me he had to potty and went in a public restroom and PEED IN THE POTTY!!! Way to go Knox!!!

Does 3 years old mean they take on a new level of SILLY? If so Brennan is totally about to turn 3!!! This is one of our outside watering buckets..

baby # 3

2011-02-20T10:31:00.000-08:00

I realize i haven't been posting enough lately... so about pregnancy #3. I am blessed. I usually do not have the nausea and vomiting that accompanies so many women in their first trimester. I have felt pretty good other than getting headaches which my doc said may be related to anemia..What exactly is anemia? I will google it after i post this blog..my blood work came back slightly anemic. It did with Knox too.

Brennan asks about the "baby in my tummy" a lot. He pulled my shirt the other day saying i want to see it. My pants are starting to get hard to fasten so rubber-band stage here i come. I am 16 weeks. So yep..FOUR months! Crazy!! And very hard to believe.

Everyone has asked if we are hoping for a girl and if we will be done after this one. The answer is only God knows. The way our two boys are eating lately if this baby IS a boy we may HAVE to stop just to pay the grocery bill. Since Knox has been born and Brennan has been on this diet our bill has gone up almost $100 or more a month! Knox LOVES meat. So back to this baby...the other day after showering i thought-yep its a girl look at that-my back is gaining. Every friend that has talked to me about the difference in their bodies in carrying a girl and carrying a boy say that they have gained weight in their back with a girl. But it may just be the way my body is taking on baby #3. According to the scales I have gained like 2-3 pounds but it FEELS like more.

We put twin beds in Brennan's room and as soon as these medical bills get paid from all of Brennan's allergy tests then we will be buying some bedding to match. This month or next we will take Knox's bed down to toddler version and get him used to sleeping in a bigish boy bed before he moves to sharing a room with Brennan. The new baby may even be 6 weeks old or more before we move her/him to what is now Knox's room. So Knox has a while more in that room. Knox will be almost be a full 2 year old when this baby is born (if it doesn't come too early) and Brennan will be 3!! Woo hooo! That HAS to be better than 15 months.

I am feeling really great now, occasionally i have a tired day..mostly the days i work and then come home and clean and cook and do two boys who didn't nap as well as they should have.

We had a great marriage conference this weekend at our church, i plan on sharing some thoughts from that in the next post. For now maybe i have caught you up with a little of our world.

Happy Birthday Hunter and Chase

2011-02-15T18:11:00.000-08:00

This is a late post...but i wanted to share the happy birthday our nephews had..Here we are celebrating on the real day...

They love their grandaddy

Blowing out the candles..

The super hero capes they were supposed to get for Christmas that didn't come in on time and long story short i found a patern and made them myself...

Here is is laid out...the inside looks like the "coat of many colors"

They are personalized...

here is Brennan playing in the scraps of material left from his cousins capes...he runs through the house a lot lately saying i am a super hero and tells his dado that HE is his super hero! Precious!

Brothers....

2011-02-07T16:19:00.000-08:00

Everyone said it would happen..and thank you God..we are beginning to see it..Today they came running through the house holding hands with their tobaggans on...

BROTHERHOOD

Playing together in the new tent from grandaddy...

New meaning to put a smile on your face...
Working together to fill up a bucket of dirt at Nana and Papa's house..

Dear Knox

2011-02-07T16:11:00.001-08:00

Dear Knox,

I can't promise not to show these to your future wife, or promise not to put them in your senior year book...i love you!

Like father...
Can't even poop without his boots on...
Playing an irish tune...gotta love the hat on crooked!
Hello Papa...

I can't promise not to show these to your future wife, or promise not to put them in your senior year book...i love you!

BUSY

2011-02-02T17:34:00.000-08:00

What does busy look like to you? For me today i woke up, cooked breakfast, cleaned it up, packed lunches, dressed 2 boys, showered and dressed myself worked at Ingleside from 10-2pm, came home and tutored from 2:05-2:45. Picked up boys from mothers day out, mopped the floors (yes off schedule this week), did 3 loads of laundry, cooked supper, cleaned ut up, went to the grocery store, fed bedtime snack, bathed 2 kids, read, rocked and put them to sleep (the last 4 with my husband doing part of the work), walked a mile on the treadmill while reading a chapter from Trusting God (because it really does make me feel better this stage of prego-hood to walk) and am currently folding clothes as Ben and i have some Q time together...YOU?

Sweet thing #3

2011-02-01T11:44:00.001-08:00

I wasn't quite ready to share with the entire cyber world that we are expecting our 3rd little "Finchlet" but....you can read about it here on Ben's blog..

We are so delighted that God has chosen to give us another child. It wasn't in the Finch Family Plan quite yet to add another one, but God is in heaven and He does all that pleases Him and it so pleases Him to give us another tiny little bundle of baby.

As far as physically i am feeling well. I am a VERY blessed lady to be one who doesn't experience sickness during pregnancy. I have been tired but have wondered if it had to do with having two other little ones..Spiritually i am learning daily to trust God and emotionally well most days i do okay i have cried a little when the boys have been extra sweet and had a week there where i felt a little zingy and on edge.

So dear friends there it is..

Washing Wednesday

2011-01-24T11:51:00.001-08:00

Raising LIONS and TIGERS

2011-01-24T11:20:00.000-08:00

I have often wondered why we call it "raising" children...until I watched Robinhood. We have become pretty big fans of Redbox $1 rentals (and occasionally FREE!) It makes for an easy date night after the kiddos are in bed. So last week we rented Robinhood (the one with Russell Crow-the only one i had ever seen was the Disney version) There was a line in it that being the spiritual-izer that i am really spoke to me. It says "Rise and rise again until lambs become lions". I LOVED that and thinking of the task of raising these two little rascals i thought of how they are born like lambs...relatively helpless, dependant, soft, snuggly, requiring lots of sleep and protection...and how it is my job to teach them to rise after falling (literally at first) and then as they progressively get hurt by the sin and pain in the world. To teach them to raise their gaze to Christ when they are down, to instill a brave strong, fearless-if God is for me who can be against me-attitude...to teach them to lead and be lionhearted..TO RAISE THEM into LIONS..

Then today, on my way to Knoxville one of my favorite songs came on the radio and for some reason (again being a spiritual-izer) i was moved to courage as a mom.

So many times, it happens too fast
You change your passion for glory
Don’t lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive

It’s the, eye of the tiger, it’s the thrill of the fight
Risin’ up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And he’s watchin’ us all with the eye of the tiger…

So yes it happens so fast.(Dreams of the past:I used to DREAM of being a mommy..changing diapers, fixing bottles, rocking babies, cooking) I role played it for years as a child. But how much does the world tempt me to trade that passion for glory?! For me to teach everyday full time, leaving my family to have the glory (money, the title, the position, the notice of the public for your work and service) I am tempted to trade my passion for glory...I must fight just to keep those dreams alive-realizing the privildge it is to live out my dream. I wanted to be a mommy who was known for kindness and consistency and love to her family-to have a neat home and for people to feel loved and welcome when they are around me..This task is far far harder than i dreamed and i dare say that as far as the lions and tigers go i feel i would be better trained as a zookeeper, but it IS a nobel, difficult task this "raising" children business..

But may i have the eye of the fearless tiger, thrilled to fight for their souls..rising up to the challenge of our rival knowing that He that is within me is Greater than he that is in the world!!

Be encouraged mommies out there, though you like me are exhausted, overworked and may relate more to the line Face to face, out in the heat Hangin’ tough, stayin’ hungry because you don't know the last time you ate a meal without someone needing to potty or spilling something or getting up to get one more thing you forgot..The heat is on. This mom stuff is not for the timid and weak..i dare say you need some lion and tiger is you just to accomplish it..The lion thought is not too far off read below to see it used in refering to Christ and one of the 12 SONS of Israel-Judah...

And one of the elders said to me, "Weep no more; behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has conquered..REV 5:5

Judah is a lion's cub; from the prey, my son, you have gone up. He stooped down; he crouched as a lion and as a lioness; who dares rouse him? GEN 49:9

#2 and #3

2011-01-17T17:01:00.000-08:00

2. What is the most humanly impossible thing that you will ask God to so this year?

3. What is one thing you can do to increase the quality of your family life this year?

The answers to these are so closely related i cannot seperate them. It is simply more breaks and or date nights. Ben working from home can cause us all to feel like we never get out or a break from each other, this house, and life's current challenges (which seem to be within these 4 walls).

We LOVE LOVE LOVE life with each other and would have it no other way, but too much of a good thing is not a good thing.

My superhero husband has already done a HUGE deal to "fix" this which is GOD working in hiim to give Him wisdom in what our family needs. He has organized a date night for us every two weeks. So twice a month we get to get away together and remember what US feels like...and we come back better parents and spouses..THIS IS SO HUGE and i am asking God for it to continue...

boys

2011-01-16T11:37:00.000-08:00

Yesterday i stopped eating my delicious lemon poppy seed muffins when i heard Knox say 'potty'. He gets this semi-panic look on his face everytime..maybe its because of the way i grab him and run...anyway, Brennan comes in and says he needs to poop too, so big potty little potty side by side they have their morning schedule on track as they grunt and laugh. Upon completion Brennan exclaism good job Knoxie-thats a lot of poop! And then Knox leans over teh potty and goes 'whoa big'.

The joys of boys.

Then as we were riding in the car yesterday Brennan announced 'im eating something' not much of a surprise since there ALWAYS seems to be a neglected cheerio or teddy graham hanging out in their seats, but i amused him by asking what he was eating

"my booger".

EWWW GROSS i say..

"why?" he asked

Buddy we don't eat our boogers thats just yucky i say..

"why is it yucky?"

Becuase its dried snot and we just don't do that. REALLY. Thats gross Buddy don't do that (as Ben is chuckling in the drivers seat)

"okay MOmmy i will not eat my boogers anymore"

You just don't have to teach boys how to be boys do you???!!! Recently we have been largely exhausted as they seem to have kicked into overdrive in the energy department..Seriously. I keep telling Ben we need to set up a video camera just for others public amusement!

may your power rest on me

2011-01-12T18:04:00.000-08:00

A new song that i heard on Casey's blog..go there to listen..

"Let me hear my Savior say

“Your strength shall return.”

Then I’ll rejoice in my weakness

As I lean on your grace.

Chorus:

May your power rest on me.

You are strong when I am weak.

I can bear all things when temptation springs

For you sustain me all my days.

Let me know my Savior’s face.

Let my hope be secure.

Then I’ll rejoice in my weakness

As I lean on your grace.

Once from the Lord withdrawn

I thought that I could live my life alone

Leaving the solid ground

I sank beneath his wisdom

The harder I tried to climb

The closer I was to find

How great is my weakness

Chorus:

Though the trial still goes on

Your grace will be my song

For I can bear all things when temptation springs

For you sustain me all my days.

May your power rest on me.

May your power rest on me."

–Written by Joel Gerdis and Neil Robins

New Years #1

2011-01-12T17:52:00.001-08:00

1. Whats the one thing that you could do this year to increase your enjoyment of God?

Umm whew..probably trust. I have always liked control. Mainly to be in control, to trust God means that i recognize HE is in control, not just mentally know that fact, but live it..in it..breathing in and out BELIEVING it..I think i would enjoy Him more...i would see His worthiness of control and my lack of worthiness, i would see how GOOD He and His plans are and how much BETTER they are for me than my plans. To totally TRUST Him with daily things like naps, potty training, sleep schedules, trips to the grocery, germs/sickness, house cleaning..and if you are a control freaker like me then you know what i mean..

I can get stressed out if i do not feel i am in control of our boys schedules..where is my trust in God? I asked a friend about this once about a particular situation that Ben was thinking was best, but i knew would mess up the sleep world of our boys and she said 'does the bible say to trust God?' yes... 'does the bible say that you should do what Ben thinks is best for the family' yes..." do you trust God?' do you trust Ben? if you think Ben loves you and your children and will ultimately (like God) make every effort to do what is best for everyone then why are you stressing?!!!!! ha! That is what i am talking about..

I know that not everyone has a great husband who thinks through what is best for everyone and i am not saying women should mindlessly step aside to whatever their husbands want . I am saying that if i trust God to work for my good and that Ben is looking out for my good then all i am lacking is control or getting my way..which is a four year old mentality!

SOOOOO

This year, i want to live out TRUSTING GOD as a way to experience and enjoy Him more fully.

(BTW i did what Ben suggested and we WERE all better for the break and the kids went back to sleeping just fine..i was amazed at how well things went and how much fun i had!)

2011-01-10T18:48:00.000-08:00

This is my Father's world. O let me ne'er forget
That though the wrong seems oft so strong, God is the ruler yet.
This is my Father's world: why should my heart be sad?
The Lord is King; let the heavens ring!
God reigns; let the earth be glad! ....

This is my Father's world. I walk a desert lone.
In a bush ablaze to my wondering gaze God makes His glory known.
This is my Father's world, a wanderer I may roam
Whate'er my lot, it matters not,
My heart is still at home.

"For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope." Romans 15:4

i will be answering these for the next few weeks for myself

2011-01-10T17:35:00.001-08:00

From Donald Whitney:

1. What’s one thing you could do this year to increase your enjoyment of God?

2. What’s the most humanly impossible thing you will ask God to do this year?

3. What’s the single most important thing you could do to improve the quality of your family life this year?

4. In which spiritual discipline do you most want to make progress this year, and what will you do about it?

5. What is the single biggest time-waster in your life, and what will you do about it this year?

6. What is the most helpful new way you could strengthen your church?

7. For whose salvation will you pray most fervently this year?

8. What’s the most important way you will, by God’s grace, try to make this year different from last year?

9. What one thing could you do to improve your prayer life this year?

10. What single thing that you plan to do this year will matter most in ten years? In eternity

2011-01-09T18:06:00.000-08:00

"Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my vision, O ruler of all." (last line of Be Thou My Vision)

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths" Proverbs 3:5-6

I share the words to these familiar passages to share the encouragement they have been to me.I am so humbled by God's patience and love to me and our little family. I am thankful for all you wonderful people out there that have shown love and support and care and love to me. This little blog is a way for me to feel connected to all of you and to rewind in my mind to all of the encouraging words you have spoken to me in the past. Your warm hugs and kindness from years past bless me now.

May these words encourage you..

more on the winner

2011-01-02T11:09:00.000-08:00

I didn't want to post pics with out "E's" permission and didn't use her name trying to keep things private in case she didn't want the cyber world knowing about her personal life..

BUT..she has posted the pics on her blog and so i will lead you there to learn more..oh and read her mom's comment too! Very sweet!

And now on how i know Elizabeth..for starters, we went to the University of Mobile together. She knew Ben before i did. She was on staff at the church he was on staff at his first years in Mobile. She and i met however, through Ismael..if you remember we attended his wedding this past year and Ben was his best man. Ben and Ish were the BMOC i just didn't know it in their prime (i met Ben his senior year-my freshman year).

Elizabeth was one of the girls that let me in on that little secret..and her lovable, wonderful outgoing self was so fun that we became instant friends. My last year at UM we seemed to click and i grew to love her and spend more time with her. (she actually served peach tea at our wedding i think..or cake or something??) anyway..superfun girl that i have seen grow in the Lord in the time i have known her and i am so delighted to have a window into her little wonderful world through her blog.

Once again, congrats dear! Now we get to take a trip to Mobile!

And the winner is...

2010-12-31T18:53:00.000-08:00

I tried and tried to figure out how I was going to "announce" this.. considering all of you are my dear friends, I want all of you to know that you are amazing and motherhood + anything is challenging, so what you have accomplished in keeping cleaner homes is terrific and no doubt God glorifying!

The catch that got the winner the winner was this quote "My husband said that he feels more respected and he has praised me all month for my hard work"...that ladies and gentlemen is a beautiful thing! Not to mention I want you to hear the little trials she has experienced and still accomplished much

"This month has thrown several snags our way, but none-the-less I've tried (and given myself grace per your instructions.) Here's what has happened: the hot water heater element went out which affected dish washing, clothes washing, and tub scrubbing; the vacuum spent 2 weeks in the shop - $80 later, the carpet was saved; the washing machine - oh, the washing machine! - has begun pouring gallons of water out of the back...not sure how long this has been going on, but we haven't gotten it fixed yet. "

I will include one and one only before and after pic that i felt was most indicative..or not..i have tried for 20 minutes to get it to work and my hubs is sleeping and i will not wake him for such a trivial question...

CONGRATULATIONS my dear E...and all the other 5 contestants!!!

THE END

2010-12-30T17:07:00.000-08:00

Ladies and gentlemen its the FINAL day for the CLEANING competition. Please take all your 'after' pictures and have them submitted via email by tomorrow noonish (Wow that sounds so official! Just trying to make it fair and even..)

I am so excited for all of you competitors and i am trying to figure out a way to treat you all!

I pray your holidays were BLESSED and I wish a new year full of clean houses to all of you!

WINTER

2010-12-13T16:51:00.000-08:00

it is not my favorite...

Brennan has coined this phrase and it is now a classic at our house..He says its about food, naptime, blankets, underwear...

Well winter is not my favorite. However, it does increase my heart rate because i RUN everywhere i go. Ben and I had a sitter this afternoon for a brief 2 1/2 hours while we did some Christmas shopping. I think we are now finished. But Ben got a hoot out of my little legs scooting swiftly as we bustled from shop to shop..

The only things i like about winter are wool socks, leggings and FIRES!!!!!

I don't like dry skin, sickness..well we won't make that long list..but i am very aware that winter can be someones favorite season..so tell me..why do you like winter?? Maybe it will help me like it too.

2010-12-12T11:13:00.000-08:00

B-R-E-A-K

2010-12-07T08:34:00.000-08:00

Okay stay at home moms....this is for you whether veteran, first timers or somewhere in the middle...WHEN and HOW do you build in breaks for yourself?

I am aware and convicted by the high calling of motherhood. It is all about SELFLESSNESS and SACRIFICE and nonstop SERVING!

I also know we are human and weak and must depend on Christ's strength and Holy Spirit power to get through each day..but what do you do for rest for your SOUL? Not just time in the Word or at church but otherwise?

I remember talking to my friend last year and she had an almost 3 year old and had not had one night "off" since she was born...no sitter, no one else putting her to bed...Part do me feels that can be unhealthy..a child getting so expectant of the same and unfamiliar with other adults they can trust.

I am blessed to have had my mom give us some awesome breaks this year (like an 8 day vacation without kids!) and they go to mothers day out 2 days a week, however i am working at an elementary school with someone else's kids on those days...and i come home to an occasionally overwhelming amount of house work that did not get done that day...

I tend to lean towards legalism in the area of work..house work or whatever..so word of warning to you aspiring cleaning schedulists..it can get out of hand...but also just the day in and out of keeping house and home sound with 2 little ones...

So although i am sure some of you are laughing at the thought of a break, just like me..what can we do about it??????

in light of yesterday's post

2010-12-04T06:34:00.000-08:00

Family Update..FUN FACTS

2010-12-03T17:19:00.001-08:00

There are just some neat things happening at our house that i thought i would share..

1. We have hardly bought any new furniture for our house since we've been married..God has graciously supplied very nice furniture for us through family though. We have never complained and are very thankful for what we have.

Ben decided to try for some bartering with a recent client who sells furniture. His office was pretty bare..we were looking for a small sofa or something along those lines..long story short.Ben decided to take our current sofa and try it in his office. He liked it..AND he ordered new furniture for our living room!! may i just say that it is the MOST beautiful sofa ever!!!!! Oh and Ben also painted our den..something we have wanted to do since we moved in THREE years ago..its looks great..a little darker than either of us thought but...

Pictures coming soon i promise, but my camera is still broken and its my dinky camera phone or Ben's big daddy camera..so...

2. Ben has a friend from high school that happens to be our dentist, who happens to love photography (& does it as a hobby), who happens to have his pilots liscence. Last night he called Ben to see if he wanted to fly to South Carolina and have breakfast..so they did. They left from our little Athens airport at 8:45 with all of us waving them off like it was a party! He got home at 1:30..HOW COOL IS THAT??! We both agree..next stop is Tallassee Alabama..no more 6 hour trips with two babies! Stay tuned to his blog for pics!

3. During our Thanksgiving vacation Ben's dad called asking if we were interested in a Yukon that his cousin was selling..he said he was going to offer him a GREAT price..if he took it we could turn around and buy it or he would sell it and make a profit..he does this stuff a lot..He brought it back after the holiday and we checked it out from A-Z.

Let me BACK UP and say that Ben and i have been praying for a while about the fact that one more child would put us over the edge in the vehicle world..its already tight with 2 carseats, 2 diaper bags, 2 suitcases, not to mention a stroller or a couple of Christmas presents..or imagine a trip to the beach!

So when we thought through all of this we felt like it was God supplying a need for us..and we bought it..well we are in the process of making payments.

Its a 2001, its white..leather seating..seats 8 comfortably..its funny the specific things that i prayed for about a new vehicle were: newer than 2000, leather seats, able to fit 3 or more carseats (twins run in the family..both sides..)

NOW may i take a second to say that i know that there is NO WAY that ANY of this could happen without a GOOD God who knows us and loves us and works things out just to bless us sometimes. He knows our needs better than we do, he knows our needs before we even ask..I am aware that He is Giver of the good and the bad and that He also knows when or if i need trials in my life too. Those may come tomorrow..and if they do His grace is sufficient..but for now i am just thinking how much he loves us..and of his undeserving riches he has blessed us with.WHY after all the ingratitude and selfishness that i can have in my heart??!!

Also i want to send out this disclaimer to all you anxious mommies..NO ONE can explain how we have lived for 7 years under the blessings we have financially. Sure last year was by far the most strenuous, but God is taught us so much through it..and is still teaching us..From the days of pre-marriage counseling we discussed how we both desired that i stay home with children when they came at least until they started school. In fact we saved each penny of my paychecks all 5 years i taught so that we never got dependant on a 2nd salary..to teach us to live with the future in mind..

When Knox came, because of bad insurance that nest egg was wiped out...between that & Ben starting 2 new businesses.

BUT God has faithfully supplied for us through various means. We have tried to handle each financial decision with integrity and debt free. We have never missed a bill. Our outflow on paper is often higher than our income..BUT God is faithful. No math can explain it..The only way any of this is possible is b/c of His riches.

If you walked in our home you would have no clue our annual salary..You would most likely be sorely mistaken!

All we know is that somehow, someway..we've made it. And we believe that someway is God's faithful provision!!

Cleaning Supplies

2010-11-28T11:29:00.001-08:00

I am responding to my dear friend Elizabeth Mahan's blog..she is in the running for this declutter-bug contest and lives in Mobile Al. She and I got to be friends my last year at the University of Mobile (where she worked until having her new baby-Carson). We had a ton of mutual friends and she is such a bubbly-bright spot to all who know her!!!

On her blog she has been chronicling her days on the cleaning schedule and had a few questions. I wanted to respond here just in case it might benefit any of you! Read her blog here and then the response below:

floors:hardwood-Murphy's oil/bathrooms-Mr. Clean lemon antibacterial dishes:Cascade-dishwasher/ handwash-dawn walls-hmmm...diluted colored-Mr. Clean/white-Clorox spray tubs/sinks: Scrubbing Bubbles or Soft scrub spray toilets-Mr. Clean same as above I LOVE clorox wipes they are my serve all in a crunch Clothes-tide and OXY clean for stains (that stuff does miracles) dusting-pledge so there it is..not to mention paper towels and windex. i use a scrub brush with a handle to do dishes that have dried food. i don't like brilo pads or SOS pads, but srub buds work wonders on baked stains for pots or pans.. And i can't clean without a couple of old toothbrushes..and old mismatched socks to dust with!!!!!!!

HAPPY CLEANING EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!

EXTENSION & added $

2010-11-26T09:30:00.000-08:00

I want to commend all the contestants!! You guys have shown great enthusiasm..

Also to know how many are actually competing...I need everyones' before pictures.. I have only recieved 2 contestants pics..

I am sure you took them, but you have been SOOSO busy cleaning and caring for your family..not to mention that its Thanksgiving week!

As long as I have all contestant before pics in by Tuesday November 30 you can compete. I will extend the time until December 30 as i did not truly take into consideration the holiday..Also after speaking with Ben, he recommended that we UP the reward to $50 credit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO how is that for some major motivation???!!!

1 Peter 3:4

2010-11-24T17:21:00.000-08:00

I want to briefly share what God has been working on in me for a while now in hopes that it will also encourage you.

4"...but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.⁵For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, ⁶as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening."

That bolded phrase has been ETCHED into my mind..

I used to not think of "frightening" as what i do now..i thought it meant more..i don't know...scary?..but i am learning that it looks like this:

I am afraid that when Ben's best friend & his wife & 3 kids show up at dinnertime to spend the night as they travel down to family for the holidays that my kids won't sleep..that i won't sleep..that getting them to bed will be a nightmare...

I am afraid that when its time to put Brennan to bed he is going to pitch a fit..about EVERYTHING..

I am afraid that if I don't let Knox cry it out at 6 am he will think that is an acceptable wake up time..

I am afraid to let him cry it out for fear he will wake Brennan & he will be a grouch because of it..

Do you see what i mean?? FEAR doesn't have to be about drowning & such..i can display fear in the everyday tasks of motherhood.

So I have this convo with myself (say for scenario #1..) Do you know Ben loves the _______'s? Yes.

Do you know that it serves him to be around ______? Do you know that he will be encouraged by you serving this family when he knows it inconviences you? Does the bible say to be considerate and hospitable..to open your home and care for others? WHOM are you most concerned about in this situation..yourself?? Hmmm. Okay. Do you trust GOD? That he knows your life & schedule and that unexpected guest 2 days before my whole family comes up for Thanksgiving is GOOD for me? That He uses experiences like this to refine me & reveal selfishness..To teach me that He is worthy of trust and better than whatever it is i think i would be missing...

DO WHAT IS GOOD.

DO NOT FEAR ANYTHING THAT IS FRIGHTENING...

Happy Thanksgiving

2010-11-24T17:19:00.000-08:00

Most of us will not have time to be reading blogs after today. I just want to say way to go ladies!! You guys have readily accepted the challenge! I want to share one breif thought with you. once i heard a pastor talk about how Christ wants FULL ACCESS into our lives. He used the allegory of our heart being a house/home. He said Jesus wants to go in THAT room. That room you don't let other people in, that room you place your 'secret projects' in..He wants you to show Him all of it..or else how will He clean it??

That analogy has always bee with me. That pastor said, if you have a room in your house that you don't let people see, i dare to say that it is the same in your heart. That further convicted me and is one of if not the primary reason that I have worked hard since the beginning of our marriage to have a home free of hidden rooms or messes.. plus I know it REALLY serves my husband-the neat-o machine that he can be...:)

This is not meant to be a sermon, i just wanted you share it with you as food for thought. Happy homes sweet friends of mine!